Jump to content

Oh so many choices...


Recommended Posts

After 18 long years of a loveless marriage I am separating from my husband. Convenience has kept us together thus far. We have separated all of our accounts, we are still trying to deal with an underwater mortgage and I am paying off my bills and saving money for my "start over" meanwhile he's buying toys.


Anyways, I have worked in the same field for 14 years but wish to switch to the medical field. I will take a big pay cut but I really am DONE with my current career. I hate every day of it especially since I had to start over with a new company. It is also very unstable-no job security. I am already on my second write-up. Next is suspension after that is fired. Both write-ups did not belong to me. One I couldn't prove and the other one I felt I did prove but the GM didn't want to hear "excuses". I had NEVER been written up in my 13 years prior at the other company.

I don't want to throw too many irons in the fire but I feel like now that I have made the decisions I must act on them. It literally drives me crazy everyday that I am not moving forward.


I am a bit lost as to how to proceed though and could really use advice. I plan to move out when the semester is over-the beginning of June. I will need to live on the cheap for at least 2 years while I build on my training and advance in my new medical career. My kids have 3.5 years of school left-so no real hope of a roommate to share expenses. I have a small amount of money put aside for my new life. Roughly 10K. I am frugal but not cheap. I'm a bit job scared as well as really hate my job now-it's not like I can just go get another job with a company down the road. What I do is a bit specialized. These are the options I have come up with and could put them into almost any configuration:




Buy a small mobile home in a nice park(pool/clubhouse/gated/security) and pay $400 in lot rent and still pay on my mortgage

Put a down payment on an inexpensive condo(owner finance the rest-which is a bit sketchy) and still pay on my mortgage

Try for a secured loan through my CU for the condo(my credit is only "fair" so I couldn't get another mortgage-I have 2 already) and still pay on my mortgage

Get an apartment $650 (I won't be able to pay my 1/2 of the mortgage and afford a decent apartment-there really isn't anything decent for less than $650)

Short sale or strategic foreclosure of my current house (he wants it but can't afford it)



Start training while working my current job. The hours are going to kill me.

Volunteer for more overtime. Save money so I can quit, work part-time while attending training. Scarey because I'll be working part-time IF I can even find a PT job.

Work PT at the new medical job and full time at the current job until I can build on my training and secure a full time position with benefits.


My financial situation


2 mortgages. One is a rental property that he will keep. It belonged to his family. Then the house I live in now. Mortgage underwater but not terribly bad. He wants it but can't afford it on his own. I can't continue to pay 1/2 for that AND my new place for more than 1 year. He COULD straighten out his credit and re-fi in less than a year if he got his head out of his rear. He is only 20 points from qualifying. My credit is bad because I had EVERYTHING in my name and I let his card go (that he used for his business) when he refused to pay it (It was in my name)

I only have a few credit cards left and hope to have those gone by June.

Car is paid for. 106K miles and 10 years old. I don't know how long she'll last but runs fine now.

Very very small 401K(10K)-I don't worry about him wanting 1/2 because I'd demand the rental property and his paid for truck value and it would be a wash

Some savings (10K)

I'm not real sure what he will do. He is a fairly weak individual. He may quit his job and become a drunk. He may get up on dope. He might move out of the state. He might shoot himself. Honestly, I don't know what he will do. I can't talk to him like a rational adult. I have to just leave one day. I probably can't really count on him for child support at least for a while.

I can't stay at my current job much past summer break because it is over night and I can bring the kids to their grand parents while I work but that won't work during the school year. They are in high school but I wouldn't leave them over night. ZERO chance of day shift at my current job.


I am taking one small step now and am going to take care of my CPR/BLS for health care workers. At least that will be out of the way.


Any advice is greatly appreciated.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm really sorry your going through all of that, but really happy to see you have a "PLAN!" I'm looking at it from a "best case scenario". The truth is, once you get a place, you can let your other mortgage go. Will it hurt your credit? Maybe. But, hey, what's 7 years. You spent 18 unhappy. what's 7 happy with bad credit ?

I wouldn't "buy" anything. I like the idea of the mobile home actually. I think it would give you motivation to "keep going". It would be "temporary". 3.5 years goes FAST.

Can YOU afford the home you have with him on your own? Stay there and make him go. Let him live in the rental property.

I say work pt at the medical job and get a "Feel" for if you like it or not... then build on the training from there. If you are good. People will notice and move you up.


As for him, right now, he's not the focus. You and your kids well being are.

If you don't feel like being "bothered" with trying to get him to move. Hopefully, both or just his name is on that mortgage. If you are not there. I wouldn't worry about it. Let him worry about it, if he wants it, let it be his worry. Find a rental, and use that through your "transition" I mean you have had these properties I'm assuming the last 18 years, you haven't paid them off, so in essence, you were "Renting" all along

I think you have a good plan. Just keep going.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Create New...