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open marriage, suddenly divorce, and new relationship


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I have a friend, Emma, who was separated from her husband, Tom, for 5 years but they still lived together and maintained an open relationship.


She started seeing another one of my friends, Jay, on and off during those 5 years on her terms but she encouraged him to see other people.


well last year he finally started seeing Sarah and for 3 months she left him alone, but then around july she wanted to start seeing him again so he and his new Sarah opened their relationship. which was confusing because he had stated many times that he wanted to be Sarah's soulmate and that he saw them growing old together.and everything seemed fine but in november she suddenly decided to leave her husband and get a divorce because she was afraid of losing Jay to his new Sarah. so she moved her husband out and her jay in, same day and he dumped his sarah to be with her.


now...i love everyone in this crazy mash up from jay and his ex to emma and tom. however i feel that her leaving and suddenly dating jay is more like a child getting jealous over a toy. because she and her husband technically weren't together for those 5 years and she could have left for her him but didn't. it was only when he found someone else he really liked that she left.


she is a good person but i feel like what she is doing is really ty. his ex has asked me if i think they are going to last and i have said that i don't believe they will as I think their "love" is prolonged lust. i have seen their texts and it is all sexting and it doesn't seem to be more than very physical.


she and jay were married for 11 years and were college sweethearts and are having a very amicable divorce and i know they are happier now then they were. i just...i don't know i feel like something is fishy


however as I am close to all parties i wanted to see what outside observers thought about the situation which is why it's so detailed

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Unless you are one of the parties "sleeping" with Jay or Emma its really none of your business unless Jay or Emma personally come and ask you for advice.


All in all it sounds pretty complicated but if Emma left her husband and Jay ended his relationship to be with each other then its really up to Jay and Emma to define what they are and if they will last.

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worried about my friends new relationship

do relationships that start in affairs work out long term?


a friend of mine was dating this girl who was married on and off for about five years, she was in an open marriage/separated with her husband but still living together and her husband of 11 was aware of their relationship and didn't care she is also bisexual and carries on with women as well. (i know this isn't a typical affair but i know the husband was only open because he loved his wife and wanted her to be happy) he started seeing someone else but they remained open so he could still see the married woman. well recently the married woman got jealous and left her husband for my friend. my friend dumped the girl he was seeing even though he seemed to really be falling for her, going as far as saying he wanted to be her soul mate the rest of his friends and i were really rooting for him to be with this other girl, to be with this married woman. and is now saying that this married woman could be the one and is talking about kids.


in the same day she moved her husband out and my friend in and they have been living monogamously ever since. she however has been unable to keep from posting about their relationship on facebook multiple times a day and saying how happy and how lucky she is etc. which seems slightly inappropriate to me...but then again that might just be me.


i know she is happier and so is her husband now that they are getting divorced but i don't think that means she and my friend will work


i care about my friend very much however i don't see this as something that is going to last very long, and i am afraid she is going to break his heart. he says they are in love but i just don't think it's love as much as prolonged lust...


what do you think? are they going to last? i am afraid to tell him to be careful or anything because i want him to know he can always talk to me. I know it is none of my business but yes I do adore him to no end and want the best for him.



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