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I recently was in a sexless relationship where my christian ex who would often give me ultimatums and mean texts in the morning, to have her way, rather than talk about her problems. Previously I told her nicely that such behavior was uncalled for, yet she continued. I snapped and called her spoiled, demanded respect and discredited her views and personality, where she would say "she was strong independent black woman and cannot be changed". She pushed through and got her way in the end (without my consent). Upon trying to reconcile with her, she accused me of emotional abuse. I just can't seem to let this go. I'm not a bad person.

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You cannot demand respect, you must earn it.

You discredited her views and personality? Why on earth would she want to be with you?

She gave you ultimatums and sent mean texts? Why on earth would you want to be with her?

 

She got her way? By breaking up? Without your consent? No one needs consent to break up.....

 

You may not be a bad person, though you don't sound particularly kind either....and if she doesn't want to reconcile, that is her choice.

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Not sure I follow but sounds like the breakup was for the best. I hope writing here helps you heal. I don't have advice to offer because it sounds like you both did the right thing by getting out of something that was not working. Now comes the time for reflection and learning about yourself.

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You cannot demand respect, you must earn it.

You discredited her views and personality? Why on earth would she want to be with you?

She gave you ultimatums and sent mean texts? Why on earth would you want to be with her?

 

She got her way? By breaking up? Without your consent? No one needs consent to break up.....

 

You may not be a bad person, though you don't sound particularly kind either....and if she doesn't want to reconcile, that is her choice.

 

I don't think that he is unkind. He does sound like a person who has had enough though. Everyone has a boiling point. It's a human thing.

 

To the Original Poster, Sometimes we can trick ourselves into thinking that after such turmoil with a special person, we can turn it all around and be happy again and change. But sometimes you have to be realistic and say "me and this person have both grown into two different and incompatible people" and chalk it up as a learning experience.

 

What should concern you about the person you are dealing with is that her views seem "high and mightier" than the care that you two have for each other. I've learned that you CAN compromise some beliefs and who you are for a person or to be with a person because as long as you are confident in who and what you are, changing isn't a big deal at all. But people DO grow out of their relationships sometimes. I mean, put it this way; Let's imagine that by some miraculous turn of events, you can convince this person to be in a normal relationship with you again. All of this fighting and breaking up is still looming over your heads. You have your preferences, she seems set in her ways. It does hurt sometimes, my friend. But endings do exist, and so do new beginnings.

 

I wish you and the woman much luck and peace of mind in whatever decisions you make.

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Do whatever it takes to get back with this Angel....

Just kidding...I think you should just let her go unless you want to be her doormat.

You know who you are, no need to go out and prove her wrong. Who cares what she thinks even if she is wrong. You are not going to win that battle with her.. its best that you leave her be

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