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Should I propose and if so should I ask her parents before proposing?


Iceicecoffee

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I was planning to propose next weekend on a fancy trip away but my girlfriend's grandfather has just passed away. If I propose it will be 12 days after he died and 9 days after the funeral.

 

Is this too soon? A back up could be to leave it until Valentine's Day.

 

I was thinking of maybe asking her parents before we go away to ask if it'd appropriate and for their blessing.

 

I have the ring and everything.

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I hold off until V-day. Let her and her family process what has happen and move forward. As for asking for permission, I'm on the fence about it. On one hand I find very old-fashioned-in-a-bad-way since the tradition goes back to when women were thought of as property. On the other hand, I do find it very sweet that a guy would want the family's approval before going ahead.

 

So I guess I'll say, if she is a traditional person go ahead and ask, if not its totally optional.

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I agree with jjkk and everyone else. Wait till V-Day and depending on her relationship with her parents (and your relationship with them) I'd say ask away

 

I always said that if a guy were to purpose to me not only would he have to ask my Mom but he'd have to ask my grandfather and uncle too haha, I think it's a sweet gesture although it is old fashioned.

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As for asking for permission, I'm on the fence about it. On one hand I find very old-fashioned-in-a-bad-way since the tradition goes back to when women were thought of as property. On the other hand, I do find it very sweet that a guy would want the family's approval before going ahead.

Just so everyone is clear.... There is a huge difference between asking for permission to marry AND asking for parents' blessings.

 

In my family, you had to ask for a blessing. My fiancé did not because during the time he wanted to ask was when I got into a MAJOR family fight and everyone was pissed off at each other until I left. My fiancé couldn't afford to wait because he planned to propose after a hockey game on my birthday (and those tickets were VERY expensive).

 

IMO... If the family is still grieving, I'd wait. They are already overwhelmed as is. Some family members maybe very upset because the grandfather wasn't there to know his granddaughter got proposed. Proposing on Valentines day is so cliche and she could be expecting it.

 

The best proposals are the ones that are done in surprise and in an environment where you will get a genuine answer (somewhere private vs. proposing with a huge crowd around).

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