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I recently got out of a 3 year relationship after the ex gf said "I just need to decide what I want/some space" (ie, I messed up in some considerable way).

 

Being the needy asshat that I am, I spent the next 2.5 weeks begging, crying, near-stalking, etc, obviously to no avail. We had a few meetups around this time trying to understand what she wants, as we both thought it was fair enough to have some closure - she does still care, after all. She was near-infatuated with me up until about 2 months before the relationship ended, though we both genuinely loved eachother. That is, up until the point that she decided to kiss another guy she likes, on two occasions, which'll probably turn into a rebound relationship, sooner or later.

I've taken this time in my life to go "screw it, what have I got to lose?" and joined the gym and am gonna start volunteering very soon. I've been NC for 4 days so far.

Frankly, I've realised it's not worth the hassle, and I'm emotionally exhausted. But I still have a spark of hope in me that this'll work out.

 

Tell me things how they are.

I really want to move on, and need assurance.

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It's tough but in time it does get easier. Having hope is perfectly normal but it will gradually be replaced by acceptance.

 

I gather at the moment your ex is on your mind ALL the time. Well as you move further along she will start to occupy your mind less and you will start to feel "normal" again.

 

Moving on doesn't happen overnight but how long it does take depends on how you help yourself. You are doing all the right things. Stay focused and you will get there.

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There's nothing people can tell you that will make you lose hope. At least nothing worked for me haha.

The only thing that will make you move on is time. Time will show you how things really are and you will start accepting your current situation.

 

Just think this is totally normal and stay in NC.

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There is not a single person alive or dead who can give you any word to make you love hope. It comes down to you. The best thing we can say for now is: Wait. Just wait. Give it time.

 

You'll come to accept this situation. It'll not come easy but it will.

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