Jump to content

worried about my friends new relationship


tudorrosie13

Recommended Posts

do relationships that start in affairs work out long term?

 

a friend of mine was dating this girl who was married on and off for about five years, she was in an open marriage/separated with her husband but still living together and her husband of 11 was aware of their relationship and didn't care she is also bisexual and carries on with women as well. (i know this isn't a typical affair but i know the husband was only open because he loved his wife and wanted her to be happy) he started seeing someone else but they remained open so he could still see the married woman. well recently the married woman got jealous and left her husband for my friend. my friend dumped the girl he was seeing even though he seemed to really be falling for her, going as far as saying he wanted to be her soul mate the rest of his friends and i were really rooting for him to be with this other girl, to be with this married woman. and is now saying that this married woman could be the one and is talking about kids.

 

in the same day she moved her husband out and my friend in and they have been living monogamously ever since. she however has been unable to keep from posting about their relationship on facebook multiple times a day and saying how happy and how lucky she is etc. which seems slightly inappropriate to me...but then again that might just be me.

 

i know she is happier and so is her husband now that they are getting divorced but i don't think that means she and my friend will work

 

i care about my friend very much however i don't see this as something that is going to last very long, and i am afraid she is going to break his heart. he says they are in love but i just don't think it's love as much as prolonged lust...

 

what do you think? are they going to last? i am afraid to tell him to be careful or anything because i want him to know he can always talk to me. I know it is none of my business but yes I do adore him to no end and want the best for him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Are you in love with this man? I ask because I think that you're overly involved in your friends life and you should be there to support him if and when the relationship ends. Right now, you should just condinue to be his friend and let this grown man alone to live his life as he sees fit and to sit at the banquet of the consequences of his own actions should it come to pass that you are right.

 

He's your friend and you are his... I think it's safe to assume that he knows he can talk to you if he wants to. So no need for this angst your inducing in yourself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

People need to make their own mistakes. I think you are too involved and need to take a step back.

 

My friends bf is always cheating on her. I hate him and hope she will see sense soon but I am not going to harp on at her about why she should dump him. As her friend I can only be here if/when she asks for support and to pick up the pieces when it all falls apart. If I kept annoying her about him it would only come between me and her

 

You need to leave him alone and stay out of it. He knows what shes like like my friend knows what her bf is like but they choose to stay anyway. That is their choice

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He has made his choice, and that choice is not you.

You're not worried about his relationship with her, you are hoping it won't work, and that if it doesn't work, he'll finally open his eyes and see YOU and how good you'd be for him. I know, I've been there too. But it doesn't work that way. Even if he does somehow come to you, you'll always know you were not his first choice. That's not a good position to be in.

 

Try to move on, and cut all ties with this "friend". The more distance you put between you and him and the least involved in his personal life you are, the faster you'll be able to move on and find a guy who wants to be with you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

yes i am very much so in love with this man

 

How sad for you that you love a person that does not love you in the same way.

 

Why would you remain in his life in a friend capacity? All that is going to do is keep you stagnated in your limerence (google it and read the wiki link) which will keep you from being open and ready for a person who wants you for more then just an emotional place to vent.

 

You do yourself NO favours by being a 'friend' when you actually want to be a 'lover.'

 

Go no contact so you can get over your unreciprocated feelings. It's the healthiest thing you could do for yourself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...