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The Imsuperman Files


imsuperman
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Me too. I weigh less than I did prior to breaking my ankle, but I figure I lost that 10 lbs or so because it was muscle. I'm starting to be more active now - I'm still in physical therapy, but I'm not in pain too much now, just a bit of soreness occasionally and dealing with some pretty severe stiffness. I can walk, but not as long as I used to be able to, and I'm still quite strong - can do single leg presses on the healing ankle of about 50 lbs, 90 lbs both legs. Previously I was doing about 110 lbs both legs. I'll be pushed to do more now, since I'm in the last half of my PT treatments, so I'll continue getting stronger.

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I’m at kind of a crossroads point in my life. Career. Everything else.

 

I want to buy a loud car and drive somewhere new.

 

I had a meeting with an old manager. He said I should open up the country in my job search. Grad school may be the answer? I want to lead but my work says no. Why? What haven’t I done? They won’t say. Almost five years. Means nothing to me now. Or nothing to them.

 

I’m hungry for more and it consumes me.

Edited by imsuperman
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  • 2 weeks later...

I think it's less an identity crisis for me, but I think they used my being out on FMLA to reevaluate my position here. Since this is my first full time/career-type job, it ultimately meant a career reset for me. Not only that but the lack of transparency when they did it. No one sat me down and said, "This is what we're thinking." I suspect they are catering to complainers. I heard our "Tier 2" guy, my previous documentation colleague, asked why I got put on the new doc project and not him since he's the "Senior" title person. He's a great technical mind. An innovator. But he's not someone who is a leader in my opinion. There are also a couple of women who are mad that they're not Tier 2, but neither of them has the stress management or temperament to do it anyway. I was on the Tier 2 teameven though I wasn't a Tier 2, because I didn't do support. This gave me "exempt" status, meaning I am salary and have a ton of freedom with comp time. In my last one on one, my manager said some time in the future they wanted to make me hourly again, and take my current title away now that I do support and not doc.

 

So my doc career, what I have two degrees and four plus years of job experience in, is essentially over. And they want to make me hourly. He said I'd keep my pay, and have the chance to work overtime. I'm doing an MBA part-time, when will I be able to get overtime?

 

Funny anecdote: So our training guy runs the doc meetings I'd be doing if they'd have followed through on their promise. I had, like a magician, avoided these meetings because I didn't care for them. They made me go last Thursday. Trainer guy yelled at everyone for typing too loud, saying we were there to learn. This is the only thing I remember from this utterly pointless meeting. What will they do, put me in detention? The meeting was awful, unstructured, and had no agenda. The analysts hate it, because it's just a time sink.

 

It's all been wild.

 

I'd like something new, and maybe somewhere new. But I'd also like to remain close to my parents. My dad is retiring in November, so hard to tell where they will go or when they would be willing to move.

Edited by imsuperman
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And they want to make me hourly. He said I'd keep my pay, and have the chance to work overtime.

 

You say that like it's a bad thing. But you'd be making the same amount, even if you are unable to work the overtime.

 

I'd kill for wages again. Overtime is time and a half when you are paid hourly wages. If you are lucky enough to get paid overtime on a salary, it is typically straight time. But usually there is no opportunity for overtime with salaries over $50K.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I want to buy a Mustang GT. I can put a good amount down, but I will probably have to save some more to get the monthly down to where I’m comfortable.

 

My dad was in my living room to talk about it tonight.

 

I said, “If work had (effed) me over I wouldn’t have to be thinking about this.”

 

“That’s just life,” he said.

 

I know I’m fortunate. But I want more.

 

I’ve been having recruiters talk to me on LinkedIn.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I started school on the 9th. Before the first online lecture, I had to read two chapters and complete an online quiz. I'm casually seeing a woman who's 37 who is in the process of divorcing her estranged husband. Though she is attractive, I think this is a temporary thing, but I'm having difficulty attracting the kind of women I REALLY want through OLD. I would like to meet someone in the 25-28 range, but these women are flighty when it comes to OLD.

 

Oh, and I have an 88 through my first two quizzes in Financial Accounting. Good for not having been in school for six years.

 

Sunday night, while my date was over for the second time, my good friend and crush from another state (we met through Reddit) texted me scolding me for texting her too often after I told her I looked at a car I had wanted and asked if she had been getting through her reading list. We've been talking for a little over a year. I became frustrated and blocked her number. We like each other, but I think it frustrates her that she can't fit me into a "box." She'd scolded me about a double text last summer, not long after we first started talking, and I told her then I thought her way of thinking was both rude and disrespectful. After we didn't talk for a couple weeks, she came back, we skyped, a couple times and she said she’d be open to meeting. This year she has kind of pulled away from those two fun things, so I think this is best. I like her too much to just be a genie for her that just appears when she deems appropriate. And, despite what she thinks, I’m very busy. I work full time, am in grad online, and am actively dating. I can go to NYC by myself, I don't mind.

 

NYC vs my Mustang GT, haha. Looking more like the former.

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I requested a meeting to discuss my career with the VP of the company for my area.

 

I won't complain, but I'll explain what I want.

 

Work nonsense has continued. I'm exempt technically, however the female manager who hates me said she doesn't want me leaving at 4:45. I came in at 7:45 today and will leave at 4:45. I have flex time, and she isn't my manager.

 

Now I know whose idea to change my career was.

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And it’s always in the back of my mind?l. Did they demote me in title and responsibility due to my mental health? Cuz that’s not, you know, legal.

 

I can’t tell the VP that directly. But I need to be tactful and tell him what I hope to see.

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  • 4 weeks later...
So what will be changing at your current company?

 

I’m unsure. I’ve made it clear that I want to be included in bigger things. My department decided I would be, then that I wouldn’t be last year. I am being included in some project work, but am, as of now, still not on the team. We hear about our raises next week. I expect the usual 2% poop.

 

So my new boss who is actually my original boss, basically asked fave to face if I was staying. I said yes of course, but that I wanted to be able to explore my interests. That was all I said. My director hates me now. Most at work think grad school is too expensive and I’m crazy.

 

I’m betting on myself because they sure as hell didn’t. Last year my dad said he told my mom at one point that he about wished he had died than see me the way I was then.

 

I didn’t forget. So they’re in or out. Same option they gave me.

 

If they find anyone else floating around that can recreate themselves this easily they should hire them over me.

Edited by imsuperman
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Have you recently looked around for other companies? Maybe take a chance at a start-up? I feel like you could be really good at that, working with something from the ground up.

 

I’ve applied around. a start up would be cool but there’s no security. I’ve only applied at very well-established places and I’m very selective. It would need to be just the right situation. I have a lot of friends and a lot of freedom where I’m at now, but what they did was wrong.

 

This wasn’t all about me gaining attention, though that had to be part of it in the end. It’s more about me wanting to grab everyone and tell them to focus on the story and not me as the storyteller, you know? The story is that everyone was navel-gazing and needed to wake up. Why did it take so much effort?

 

I’m good at lots of things. I just don’t want this situation to happen to someone else.

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