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potential crush between two shy strangers - advice


SillyMe1986

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Hi,

 

I'm a shy girl in my mid-20s and I go to a local coffee shop everyday to work on my papers for law school and can spend hours there at a time. There is a guy who works there part-time who seems to be a few years younger than me (although, I don't really have a clue, he just seems to be around 20ish) and who I was instantly attracted to. I'm not sure if my attraction sent out some kind of signals, but I've noticed that for the past month or so we would steal glimpses at each other from accross the room and what was most common was that he would always take his breaks by sitting at a table close to me where he would look extremely preoccupied texting or listening to his music through headphones, but every time he would leave the room he would look at me without missing a cue. I never went to his counter to buy coffee, just one time, and he asked me what I was doing later on after leaving the coffee shop and I froze for a second and said something nerdy like "going home, watching tv" and then I awkwardly started to continue babbling things and he just didn't say anything, became a bit cold and didn't even say goodbye. I really don't know how to explain all of this, it's so hard because we are perfect strangers and we don't have any common friends and don't know a single thing about each other, so I am not sure if I am even imagining all of this! I really do believe and feel (and not just because I WANT to believe and feel this) that there's something awkward going on between us, two shy strangers. Recently, he became more confident and a few days ago he actually worked up the nerve to walk by my table a few times, and then look at me straight in the eyes (after his first failed attempt, where he walked by, stared awkwardly with dilated eyes at the back of my computer screen instead of at my face! lol) and smiled... twice. I noticed him sitting extra long that day for his break, and I could see him looking at me and then looking away, and when I would laugh while talking on the phone I noticed that he started laughing to himself a few minutes later (again, while texting or listening to some music). Then today, just a few days later, he walked by me without looking at me once. He did go to the sofa that is a good 12 feet away but facing directly at me, and he sort of laid down on it, facing in my direction, but listening to music and trying not to look at me.... I did the same and used my peripheral vision and at times when I pretended that I was busy looking at my computer I may have felt a glance or two from him, but today there were no smiles, no obvious stares, he did - however - pause briefly (maybe 3 seconds, just standing still) by my table before he left to go to the next room and a friend of mine who he has seen talk to me told me that for the first time ever, he actually said hello to her and seemed extremely happy and bubbly and she said 'I should have known it was because you were here'... and that was right after he walked past me and ignored me.

 

So here's the deal: I am starting to feel really frustrated and confused and self-conscious about looking like I am a creeper. Perhaps because I have developed a strong crush on him, that everything I wrote above doesn't mean all that much and chances are he thinks I'm just some weird girl who hangs out all the time at this coffee shop? My friend, who is a guy, told me that no man will think that a 'hot' girl is a creeper (despite my shyness, I am pretty confident in my looks as I used to model). At this point I don't know what to do and feel frustrated and impatient and would just like to know, either way, whether I've imagined this whole scenario in my head or whether he really is just shy and also crushing on me but can't work up the courage to talk to me. I don't know how to approach a total stranger without risking the chance that I will look like some kind of stalker. I am nervous to talk to him, and even I try to play cool many times and I also sometimes ignore him (just because I don't want him to think I'm creepy), but I don't know what to do or how to approach him. I thought about having my friend talk to him for me, but that's also weird, no? Any suggestions? I wish we had common friends. And, usually, when I go to the coffee shop I go alone to study - so that also makes me feel self-conscious for some reason (again, don't want to appear too eager or stalkerish). Ugh... need help breaking the ice here...

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Hey

 

It sound like he thinks you're cool, just walk up to him when he's on his break and say hi, start a conversation and ask him out to a drink or something, trust me I know how freak out it can be to do that but nothing ventured nothing gained right? Just pretend to be confident until you actually are with him. Don't stress too much I thought this cashier was really cute once and could barely say two words and he gave me his number, and I'm no model so I'm sure you'll do fine ^.^ take a mate to sit with you for moral support if u think u might need it

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