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A recap of my ex relationship. We work together. She cheated with another married coworker and is now dating a different coworker. It's been 10 months since we broke up and I've maintained NC. She's attempted to try and get my attention, I stay vigilant with my NC.

 

I don't know what it is but I'm so angry lately. My thoughts run rampant.

 

Was I not good enough?

Am I too shy?

Did I not have enough friends?

Was our relationship boring?

Was I satisfying her emotional needs?

This new guy is taller and physically fit. Why him?

 

I thought I was doing all the right things. Being attentive, affectionate, committed, honest, and still having my life outside the relationship. I just don't get it. She just moved on with no remorse and it still upsets me.

 

It angers me that this guy knew me before we got together and hung out after the breakup. He asked about it and I let him know that I thought she wanted to date other people because she didn't have much experience. I didn't think he would be the one to go out and date her.

 

Maybe it's the drinks talking but I'm just so livid. I find myself angry towards this situation most of the time when I think about it. I'm normally good at accepting it and blowing over but it's a consistent theme. I know more time is needed and I'm using this to fuel me towards better things in life but 10 months is a pretty long time.

 

I am seeing a counselor and have goals outside of a relationship that I'm working towards.

 

I don't know what I'm typing, I just want to yell at her.

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Hey, I'm sorry you are feeling bad but you have every right to be angry. Cheating is awful and it really affects your self worth, you start questioning yourself but it is a waste of energy. You are a good person and you deserve someone who will love you 100% and won't cheat. You are strong and capable of getting over this because you are taking steps and eventually you will be ok. I hope you feel better soon. I don't know if you listen to music, but I've just discovered these two songs and they really help me and

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There's so many things I want to say to my ex, he cheated with multiple women whilst keeping me in a relationship mindset. I go through a range of emotions every day. I want to scream at him, verbally abuse him with phone calls and messages, I want him to comfort me, I want an explanation.

 

I've realised all of these wants aren't going to change anything, I need to feel these emotions and then let it past. What helps me is when I'm feeling angry, upset, hurt, bitter, low self esteem, joy, acceptance, all of them! I write it down. I scribble. Sometimes it's pages sometimes a sentence. Sometimes a letter, to him, myself, the future, sometimes it's a reminding myself I am worth more, I am better than him and this situation.

 

Your NC is strong and I wish I would say mine was the same, your goals are keeping you focused and I'm making some myself. Sometimes it's just making it the day without Being a mess, sometimes it's a goal of what I want and where I want to be in 6 months times

 

Feel everything, it's what it takes to heal. You will be better, and are better than her, him and the situation. You feel all this because you have morals so stick by them.

 

The cliche about time is a true one!

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Yeah that's some nasty situation. I can't believe the guy started dating her after what you said to him. That's someone with very low morals in my opinion.

 

I like to think that people who treat other people badly will always regret it one day, and they probably will for some reason or other but there's no point thinking about it. Sometimes people hurt the ones they love because they're screwed up in some way and are used to bad people. It's sad really. A lot of the time i hear people want their exes back when the ex has moved on and doesn't want them anymore. I think I'd just like to be with someone a lot more grown up who doesn't behave like a child personally.

 

Anyway, you'll be ok. Drink does not help a lot of the time no. And hangovers are upsetting also. You need to start exercising and doing things. Take it from someone who has wallowed for far too long and is only now starting to realise you have to take a very active position in your own recovery. And it's not as hard as you think, you just start doing these things and you will see. Good luck, I'm sorry you've been treated so poorly.

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At some point it will occur to you that this isn't about you. She's on her third coworker--doesn't that signify to you that she's got problems?

 

Consider this your tuition for learning that people at work never 'appear' to be flakes until they flake on you. That makes your life hell. Every. Single. Day. going forward.

 

So disengage from this one, view your workplace as a professional environment, not a dating pool, and have sympathy for those who haven't leaned that yet.

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