husband is spending a lot of time with brothers widow, I'm jealous, should I be?

[five0love]

My husband's brother passed away unexpectedly about 2 1/2 weeks ago. My husband has been making plans with his late brothers wife to go get tattoos and to get stuff to eat and take the kids to practice, theirs and Ours. All of this while I'm working, they are texting alot also and planning on fixing her house up. I guess because we are so strapped for money we don't ever go out and our house is in major need of stuff to be fixed I'm so jealous and angry but I don't know how to talk to him about it. I know he's grieving but I end up giving him the cold shoulder because I'm angry. I need help, what do I say or do?

[Mesemene]

Helping with the kids - understandable. Ditto helping with the house.

 

But I would have to wonder at... tattoos? Unless they're memorial tattoos to his brother, that doesn't seem to fall into either the supportive, or shared grief category.

 

Why not make a point of going over with him and making it a family support thing, instead of just him going? You'll probably get a better feel of the real situation - she could be playing on his desire to take care of his brother's widow and overstepping on her expectations - which while unwelcome, isn't anything that would rest on your husband's doorstep.

[five0love]

I wasn't sure how to approach him on this. I will talk to him about the tatoos. Thank you.

[Kendahke]

Out of the blue, his brother dies 2 1/2 weeks ago. Think about that.

 

His brother was snatched out of his life suddenly and permanently.

 

What has his interactions been with his SIL prior to his brother's death?

 

Everyone handles grief in their own way.

 

If you feel he is carrying on an affair with his SIL, then speak up and say something, but know that you will be cast as cruel if this is nothing but you being jealous.

 

If, after 6 months, they're still carryign on this way, then is when you have something to complain about. But 2 1/2 weeks out?

[shelty24]

Get involved. Make more effort to go with him and to help her. Maybe if you were the one supporting her-he would back off a little

 

Emotional affairs can develop easily if him and her get too close so I do understand your jealousy

 

It is too raw and too soon to say anything though.

[five0love]

Thank you for the replies. I'm just going to keep my mouth shut and let him grieve but it felt good to get that off my chest, so thanks.