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I don't know what to do... This relationship is headed for catastrophe...


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When I was 13 when we moved to a different, upscale neighborhood when my mom got a good job so we can escape the ghetto. I was nervous because we were the only black family in that particular community. I stayed in the house for the first 8 months until one day my neighbor knocked on the door and invited me over to dinner. He is white with blue eyes, and blond hair. He always says that I look like Foxy Brown(rapper) due to my long hair or whatever... I don't see it... Anyway, I wasn't attracted to him but overtime, we were best friends. We turned 16, just days away from each other. My mother was at work 60% of the time but we maintained a good relationship throughout her absences. Tyler was over my house damn near EVERYDAY... One day we slept in the same bed for the 373732927th time but this time I made a mistake and snuggled his arm... His laughter woke me up but he didn't realize... Then he kissed me on the forehead and I said "did you just kiss me" Instead of saying "yes" he kissed my nose as a sarcastic way of saying "yes" ... Then we were kissing and we just... did it.... We did "it" at least twice a week for 3 years(I'm 19 now),

We still are great friends and live directly next to each other. We both have girlfriends but when we first started dating girls we became extremely jealous when we found out if one of us had sex with one of them. He would find out that I had sex with her and he would get mad as hell, and I would do the same when I found out about him and his girlfriend. We still do. And we will become distant for a day or two... We still occasionally and NOBODY to this day knows... I know we'll get caught one day but oh well.. I really don't care... I'm scared that this "lifestyle" and our "relationship" is going to alter our friendship forever. We REALLY love each other...as friends... but we still pleasure each other whenever possible... I love him, but I can't picture an actual relationship with him. But I want to maintain our relationship... This can't go on forever like this... I'm stuck...


I'm a boy by the way....

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