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It just sounds exhausting on top of everything else, absolutely exhausting. I have been stuck on a yo-yo before, but nothing similar to what you describe your situation. It's hard to let your head take over when your heart has been in control for so long, but that there in your posts is your head talking. You know all of this already.

It doesn't have to be a hostile situation either, this man clearly has no idea what he wants either. One minute he thinks he's in love with you, next thing you know he has moved in with her, now he is moving her out and getting you back in - the pattern is shocking and I don't know why you have hope that this is it because if history repeats, which it often does if nothing is changed, it seems like you will enjoy a few moments of bliss with him before he is back out of the door.


Your head desperately needs to take over in order for you to see some kind of light at the end of the tunnel. It can begin with a simple message like "I need to take time to myself, I love you but I need a huge break from this situation, I hope you understand"

Take time for yourself until you are truly detached from this man so you can see this whole picture bright and clear, you won't regret you did it.

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I know I should do that. I am overwhelmed by everything and having some time and space might do me a lot of good and him too probably? He needs time to get over whatever it is he feels for her .... its not dissipating over night, as much as I'd like it to. He has a bond with her, he never had with me. Different kind of bond,.....more close, and I just have to accept it....that him and I never had that, I'd like to tho?....and I think he'd like to build a deeper connecting with me? Why else would he mention wanting to hang out a weekly basis and do activities together, such as hiking, riding bikes, playing racket ball, so forth?


Oh, I am mixed up. I will think about sending a message to him asking for more time, breathing room, time to think, sort things out in my head....


He came on too strong, I didn't mean for this to happen in my mind. I thought I had myself under control...... Why am I allowing this?

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Well, he has yet to contact me. I am going to go on a date with a man I just met recently.... And tell him about it. Screw it, it's over. If it wasn't, he'd of contacted me the moment he had a chance to.. Would he not? And this guy I met is very sexy, and smart.... So why not? What better time than the present?

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Or how about this: you just don't think one bit about him any more. No contacting him, not trying to get a rise out of him, NOTHING. he simply no longer exists, so don't even throw him out a hook, or a bread crumb, or whatever you want to call it. No baiting!


If it wasn't over, you and him would have never broken up. It's Over, black and white!

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I'd rather him know I am done if he doesn't come around soon.... I'd like to have him wonder as well, it's a two way road.....

I wish I could find a way to escape my pain I allow him to cause me, the bread crumbs I keep eating...Grr, But yes, I'd like to get a rise out of him, at the very least........ And I am definitely not using this guy I am going out on a date with, I like him a lot and he is sexy, and smart and has his ducks lined up in a way my ex may never..........have lined up. I am just a little on edge, i'd like to let him know hands down, I am washing my hands of him...But i'd like him to picture me with someone else, just to give him some of his own medicine.


It's hard to forget about him, and my surroundings and everything...Grrr

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He called yesterday.. I told him I don't want him calling me anymore. He hasn't moved her out and from what I can tell nothing has changed, it's just gotten worse. I know he wanted to come over yesterday because he mentioned he did not want to go home. I was a real jerk to him, but....yeah I don't think he "didn't deserve it"


I am having a hard time ... I really really cared. Unsure what Love is, but it's not this.

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He wants his cake and to eat it too... You should not be speaking to him AT ALL if he is living with another woman or dating another women. Not one word! He is not available if he is, and he is not interested in a monogamous relationship with anybody is he is willing to bounce between two women like this. He just wants stimulation and variety, and you're the source for that.


You need to stand up for what is good and healthy for you, and that obviously isn't him.

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I think you're so far into this that you're not actually believing the advice everyone is telling you. I think you do for a moment, because throughout this thread you've had moments where you've seemed to snap out of it, until he comes along and tells you all that you want to hear and you're back to hoping and wondering what if.


Let me tell you this, he will never move her out while he can still get you, talk to you, get under your skin whenever he wants.

he wants out of it, but he hates hurting people, making them cry...

If you honestly think this is a valid reason for him being with someone else then what are you then if not a person? If he hates doing this so much then why are you having to go through it?


If all you want is him, and no one can tell you otherwise then that is your choice. But you're never going to even have him as long as he can sit there using his words to get you to honestly believe that him seeing two different women at the same time is justifiable and because he "hates hurting people". If you're not going to go NC for yourself, then at least consider NC so that you might actually have a chance with him.

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>>Yet I did because he forced me to by saying more absurd things.......


Nobody forces you to do anything unless you've got a gun to your head. You're not taking responsibility for your life and choices here. You can choose to be some guy's side piece while he lies and manipulates you (and you continue to get more of the same lies and misery), or you can choose to live your life honorably and with respect for yourself and what you need and put a stop to this nonsense by telling him you will not date some other woman's man on the side.


Every choice has a consequence. And if you choose to continue with some man who is living with another woman, then you will pay the price for that. Your choice.

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