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My ex boyfriend acts like he doesn't care about me anymore and I simply don't exist. Sometimes he will chat with me, others he ignores me. I gave up trying to initiate a conversation with him through text or phone because of this. The reason for the breakup was that he lost feelings for me. Does this also mean he doesn't care anymore?

 

It hurts like so much when he treats me like this.

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It sounds exactly like my scenario...

How could he just suddenly go from I care a lot about you to my feelings have changed, ( fxxk off

The transition is just so fast that I wonder what we had before was a fake (plus the fact I oft wonder if I am a rebound)...doesn't I mean something to him after all we have been through

 

After all he had confessed to me, he said "you dont know me", wt? Were you lying before?

 

I have NC him a month and finally sent him an email, said if he still wanted to talk or see me email me. But no contacts so far, so apparently he doesnt want me in his life anymore...(I have made it clear that I cant see him as a friend)

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I think some people simply do stop caring. On this forum we only hear a very small portion of the story and have no idea what your history is like.

 

Some people say they love someone and actually don't mean it or don't realize that they don't mean it. Other people maybe experienced so much pain and heartache from an ex that they just don't care anymore. Other people still care, but NOT in the way you want or deserve, therefore in your mind it means they still don't care even if in reality they do.

 

For instance when my ex and I broke up, it felt very much like he didn't care. In actuality he did care but it was different. Far different being the person that he wanted to be with for the rest of his life, do anything for, was a priority, loved, etc.... to just going to someone he used to be close with and still has some good memories of. A HUGE difference.

 

So it's possible exes genuinely do stop caring but a lot of things would have had to occur to say that... in my opinion the majority of exes just care in a different and far less attached way. It's far LESS than what we are used to and therefore not enough.

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Well, I remember his attitude has changed a lot after his ex-fling crying to him that she could not visit her own boyfriend due to her visa problem

He told me he spent time comforting her while initially he wasnt even planning to chat with me (he was waiting for the water to boil.....)

I told him I was not interested in knowing his ex-fling and his attitude since then has changed a lot...(I am not even the kind of girlfriend that would ask him to cut contact with ex)

And now as I am typing, I suddenly remember how he did not comfort me at my mother's funeral...............

 

He said I was very needy when my mother cancer reoccurred and was scornful of me...

 

I feel so dirty being used as a rebound

 

well my story is an extremely long one..you can check for my post in case you are interested

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This doesn't sound like someone whose feelings changed. This sounds like someone who never cared in the first place. I notice that most folks who complain of an ex doing a complete 180 tend to be on the clingier side, with low self esteem. I'd bet that is the case for you as well, since you stayed with a guy who was very callous to you.

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This doesn't sound like someone whose feelings changed. This sounds like someone who never cared in the first place. I notice that most folks who complain of an ex doing a complete 180 tend to be on the clingier side, with low self esteem. I'd bet that is the case for you as well, since you stayed with a guy who was very callous to you.

 

No, usually I am a very confident girl. But ever since I met him I was growing more and more dependent on him, I even got angry of being dependent in front of him.

I guarded my heart at first, but he made me trust him with mixed signals then he withdrawn...

 

He was very caring at first...I guess I always hope we could go back to what we had...

 

but yeah there are too many factors for me to explain here...

I were kidding (with tears) that I had an intensive course in love for just three months (LDR, cultural difference, rebound, death of a parent, ex, first love).

It is so intense for me while it means nothing for him...this knowledge hurts...

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My ex boyfriend acts like he doesn't care about me anymore and I simply don't exist. Sometimes he will chat with me, others he ignores me. I gave up trying to initiate a conversation with him through text or phone because of this. The reason for the breakup was that he lost feelings for me. Does this also mean he doesn't care anymore?

 

It hurts like so much when he treats me like this.

 

 

In a word: yes. He has stopped *caring* the way he used to because he no longer feels romantic love for you.

 

He might like you or love you as a person.... as a friend.... but the romantic feelings and sense of longing he once had for you are now gone.

 

Looking over your other threads, it looks like this was your first boyfriend -- which would make him your first ex. So it's understandable you'd be confused by his behavior now. You haven't been through this before and can't see that what he's doing is perfectly natural.

 

But this is why it's best to cut off communication and go No Contact after a breakup: as long as you still have feelings for him, you're going to be hurt by the way he treats you now. Because you still have those same romantic feelings for him.

 

How do your feelings fade? Time, sure -- but time without contacting him. Just like smoking or any other addiction -- you have to cut it off cold turkey and cope with the withdrawal.... until eventually you get past it and recover.

 

You can drag this breakup out for another year and try to stay in touch and feel hurt and confused because he's moving on and dating others.... or YOU can start to do the same. He might've been your first boyfriend, but he's by no means your last!

 

It's time to stop sticking your hand in the blender. It's been a few months now, it's time to end contact.

 

Here's a guide that will help you: link removed

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But this is why it's best to cut off communication and go No Contact after a breakup: as long as you still have feelings for him, you're going to be hurt by the way he treats you now. Because you still have those same romantic feelings for him.

 

 

that's very true. I am the kind of person that would try everything before letting it go, so I did contact him after a month of NC to get him back, a cheerful email

Well he replied, he said he valued me as a friend and hoped to continue to hear from me

and that hurts, hurts so much...so I lashed out all my angers to him that I have been suppressing (because I still tried to please him) and realized this is the point of no return. I wish him happiness but make it absolutely clear that I have no place in his life, not the place he wants me to be, and not the place I want to be

So this is the end, I guess

it is so painful now, but at least I tried to get him back, so I have no regrets of not doing my best

and next week I will be meeting my date for the 3rd time

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