I don't know how to feel...

[Lovely92]

So this may be nothing but just looking for so advice.

My boyfriend sometimes word out of town and yesterday he got called to work in a town 2 hours from where we live. I told him I could drive up and we could go out for a drink when he got done with work ( we recently talked about me occasionally coming on work trips with him) and he just said yeah maybe but I'll probably be tired. I said okay. Today when he texted me he got done with work half day I asked if he wanted me to come up he said you can but I think it would be pointless because he would just be at the hotel and has to get up really early for work. (He just works with one other guy a family friend) I said ok I won't then. So him and the guy he works with went out to dinner after sitting in the hottub and he texted me saying he was going out to the bar with his friend who lived up there and his girlfriend. He said the guy he worked with would be his date. I am feeling a little weird about this because that's what I asked to do with him and he said he would be tired.. And then told me it would be pointless tto come cause he would be in the hotel all night and would be tired. I guess I just don't understand why he can do all this with him but not me? Or tell me not to come? Idk like I said could be nothing.. Just seeing what others think. I feel like he used to always want me around and now I feel like that is different... We have been together 1.5 years idk if that is normal as the relationship grows or not!

[SpottiOtti]

I don't know, you could look at it that way or you could say, maybe in the spur of the moment he decided to do what he said he didn't want to. How is your relationship otherwise? Do you spend time together when he is in town? Is the the type of guy who needs his space? Do you live together?

[offplanet]

In one of your earlier posts you say he told you he needed space and I think this is saying the same thing. I don't know if it means anything or not. If it was me I would not offer to go to where he is any more and see what happens.

[CeeLambrini]

I don't know about past posts but if this happened with me I would feel a little upset, to be honest. I won't say start an argument or go crazy right now, perhaps wait until he is back to calmly confront him about it.

On the one hand, you did push to be there more than enough - even though he'd said no first. However, his excuse for not wanting you to be there obviously wasn't true and I think you need to talk about why he no longer wants you to come with him when he said he did before.

[lerenard]

Something similar happened with me too - I stayed at home because my BF said he probably will do the same, and then he messaged me from the club, where he went with his brother to see some school friends he haven't seen in ages. I was upset at first, but then - it depends how your relationship is in general. Our is great, and we spend almost all our free time together, so I was OK with him seeing other people and he was with his brother - I trust them both very much. If he said before that he wants time alone - stop asking him all the time if you should come too/join him/drive to him and so on. Let him ask you to come.

But if he said you shouldn't come on purpose and he was planning to be without you there - I would worry. Why lie then that he will be tired? And why message later on that he is in the tub and this and that? If a guy tells you "well you can come if you want, but..." - he hopes you wont go.

[Lovely92]

Thank you all for the responses. I think I am going to stop asking to join him and see what happens. I feel as if we used to want to do everything together and it's just not that way anymore.