Brotherhood67's journey of healing after a divorce

[Brotherhood67]

Hi,

I decided to create this journal as an example for all fellow ENAers here, I hope it will provide some insights for all of you and I'll try to keep it updated on a regular basis.

I need to put my feelings into words and since ENA helped me a lot during the first months (Thanks Mhowe, thanks H3nK1, thanks to all of you for your support !!!), I want to return the favor to you.

 

You can find my story here :

 

 

 

A brief summary

 

I'm 30, I graduated from Law School a few years ago and I'm now a lawyer working for a somewhat well-known law firm. English is not my mothertongue so, please be nice with me ;-) !

I'm married (for the moment) to a young woman, who is 37 - has diabeetus and heart problems, though very strong woman, extremely hot-headed, difficulties with money - and works as an assistant-curator for a museum.

We met about 8 years ago and it was love on first sight. We moved in together after 4 months and were happy. We considered ourselves as "soulmates", which is true : I never felt such a connection to anyone, and it was the same for her towards me. After about 5 years, I had a job opportunity in another city so, after much talk, we agreed that I should take it in order to achieve greater financial stability.

I moved out, while she kept all our stuff and our appartment.

Everything went downhill from there.

After 3 years of LDR, which were extremely difficult for me, she decided to end our relationship in november by using this "break" thing : she asked me for a break, said to me that she wasn't sure of her feelings anymore etc. After an extremely difficult week-end, I left.

One month later, she sent me an email to make our break-up final (3 sentences...). I was devastated and she didn't give me the opportunity to express myself. I then learned from a friend that she was already with another guy and that she would leave for Montreal for a week with him. She spent Christmas there with him. He is 38, is a math teacher at the university and is French.

I never told her I was aware of this and suffered in silence. I sent her 3 letters (1 letter and 2 e-mails to apologize for these difficult years, asking for closure and expressing my love - not begging or anything like that) and stayed pretty much in NC/LC since then. I never made first contact and gave her space. She told me that this man is incredible and that they already decided to move in together in Montreal - she will have to emigrate, quit her job etc. AFTER 3 weeks together...

 

After more than 2 months of pain and suffering, I'm emerging from this and I'm somewhat transformed : I lost 30 pounds, go the gym regularly, made friends and decided to prepare myself for a MBA in Switzerland next year.

 

I go through ups and downs still and can't forget her. I went out with 4 women since our break-up but I can't bear to be with them while thinking of my ex... I still can't.

 

This is my journal ! feel free to comment ! Hopefully, it will get better and ENA gave me the opportunity to share my experience so let's go !

[Brotherhood67]

A difficult day today : she texted me to tell me that she is happy to see that I have changed and went out with other girls (she actually never saw me in person, I just told her that because I went on vacation with a girlfriend - we were supposed to talk about my car and I dropped the ball concerning my other dates...). I felt awful. She really moved on I see, she is even happy to see that I'm beginning to move on - maybe because she feels that this will open a door for a friendship, which I always refused. Too much in love with her.

I stick in NC but now, she knows that I go out with other girls and that I still think of her. What a dumb***...

 

I still don't know if she signed the papers for the divorce but agreed to phone my friend tomorrow regarding the car. I tend to assume she did it...