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if someone 'apparantly' said something nasty about ur other half..


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iv been married just over two years and we have two children together.

 

in a bit of a pickle.

 

my cousin sister (who is abroad) 'apparently' said something about my husband, like he's not a nice person, and is a wife beater.

 

this is so far from the truth and im not entirely sure how true this is or whether the person who claims she said it has made it up.

 

my husband obviously at the time was upset about it and since then i have more or less been no contact with her. in hindsight i should have asked her if it was true.

 

i heard two days ago she is now getting married this March. i, of course would like to go to her wedding but i only had my second child two weeks ago.

 

i spoke to my husband and he quickly objected saying, why would u want to go to someone's wedding who said something vile about ur husband..

 

in his opinion, it's a waste of time to go but he says if i really want to go he'll pay for me to go with our toddler..

 

thing is, she came to my wedding in the UK..and her financial situation isnt great, it wasnt easy for her to come and she gifted me quite a lot.

 

i feel like i owe her, i know she wants me to attend/ i would also like to go but so torn.

 

i dont want to do anything which would jeopardize my own marriage or in years to come my husband would resent me over going...

 

what would u do?

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Wait and see if you are invited. It sounds to me like she is a person who projects their anger. It may have been a one time thing, or it may be chronic. You could also simply send her a gift. This way, you don't have to feel guilty, and you acknowledge her wedding without over extending yourself. I would only do this if you are invited. I find sending a nice gift in lieu of going to an overseas wedding is a good solution. Since she did go to yours and this whole thing with your hubby is just a rumor, you may want to decide once invited.

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Quite frankly, I would not put my own marriage in jeopardy or make my husband resent me.

 

You should have asked her at the time if she had indeed said what you heard. Who told you she said this if she didn't say it to your face?

 

Her financial situation is her problem, not yours. Just because she came to your wedding doesn't mean you owe reciprocity, especially with this issue of her talking nasty about your husband. I would just send a gift and look for the pictures on youtube. If she hasn't bothered to keep in touch with you all these years, then she's not going to miss you not being at her wedding. And if she says something to you about it, that is when you tell her what has gotten back to you--but make sure you talk to the person who told you this if in fact that is really what she said.

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Do you trust the person who told you that she said this? If she did say this, is it possible she may believe that to be true via some misunderstanding? It may not have been said in malice (if it was said), it could be concern. If you and she are close you should talk to her

 

A friend of mine told me once another "friend" said some nasty things about me which I was shocked by. All I had ever done was be kind to her and a good friend and it was like she was trying to make other people hate me for no reason or mistrust me. When I confronted her, I knew the first girl was telling me the truth just by her reaction. But she denied it all of course lol

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