Jump to content

Do you care what other people think?


LeilaKay

Recommended Posts

My friend and I were talking about this, and we were kind of arguing over whether is it OK to care what other people think about you and if so then in what way. I thought you should just be who you are and not be concerned about what others think. But she said it is natural to think about how other people see you and for you to make an effort so people think well of you.

 

Where do you draw the line when it comes to caring about what people think of you? Is it normal to try to please people or is that insecure?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Human are a social animal. We evolved to live in groups, harmony within the group was vital to survival when we were still killing things with sticks. If someone did something abnormal it wasn't a matter of them "being themselves" but putting the whole community at risk of death. So it is natural for us to care about what others think of us because in our primal brains we want group harmony, we want to contribute to the survival of our group. Modern times has changed that significantly. We can deviate without putting others at risk.

 

I fall in the middle of this debate. I care what people who I respect think of me. My best friend in particular. Random strangers? Third cousin two removed? No.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with what mhowe says. Maybe it is because I am not good at figuring out what other people think of me or maybe it is because I don't want to be bothered. I figure I am who I am and if someone thinks wrong about me then I will try to set them straight. But I usually will not think at all about it unless someone gives me a funny look.

 

I don't try to get feedback on whether people are thinking well of me, like my friend does. She will do something and look at the person expectantly so that they say "Oh that is nice of you" or "You are so funny" or things like that. She says she does it for them, so they are pleased, but I think mostly she does it for herself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Human are a social animal. We evolved to live in groups, harmony within the group was vital to survival when we were still killing things with sticks. If someone did something abnormal it wasn't a matter of them "being themselves" but putting the whole community at risk of death. So it is natural for us to care about what others think of us because in our primal brains we want group harmony, we want to contribute to the survival of our group. Modern times has changed that significantly. We can deviate without putting others at risk.

 

I fall in the middle of this debate. I care what people who I respect think of me. My best friend in particular. Random strangers? Third cousin two removed? No.

 

This is absolutely correct and I totally agree

Link to comment
Share on other sites

if i respect that person's opinion then yes i care what they think of me.

if i don't respect their opinion then i don't hold value in what they think of me.

 

my issue would not be if i cared what someone think of me but HOW MUCH i care. sometimes i care too much which i know shows that i do not have a very strong trust in myself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This might be off topic but I was talking with my boss about how we all perceive ourselves a certain way and I said "I'd be surprised to learn I was rubbing a colleague the wrong way"....no sooner did that come out of my mouth, I was walking through the hallway and heard someone say "Sav is driving me craaaazy this week" and I had to laugh a little. The person wasn't being malicious and it wasn't said in a nasty way...but I was like "Hey! I was just talking about that!" I don't worry what people think of me because I live my life and conduct myself in accordance with my values. If someone doesn't like me, we might not share the same set of core principals and that's fair enough....not everyone has to like me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This might be off topic but I was talking with my boss about how we all perceive ourselves a certain way and I said "I'd be surprised to learn I was rubbing a colleague the wrong way"....no sooner did that come out of my mouth, I was walking through the hallway and heard someone say "Sav is driving me craaaazy this week" and I had to laugh a little. The person wasn't being malicious and it wasn't said in a nasty way...but I was like "Hey! I was just talking about that!" I don't worry what people think of me because I live my life and conduct myself in accordance with my values. If someone doesn't like me, we might not share the same set of core principals and that's fair enough....not everyone has to like me.

You don't take yourself too seriously, and that is a good thing. We all can drive others crazy probably, now and again. I am sure I do!

 

I agree with what you said about values. Mostly I think that way. And it makes sense also that the people we respect would share our values, so that explains why there are some people we care about what they think and others we don't. Everyone here makes good points!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...