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What do you do when you start missing your ex..?


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It's been three weeks since I broke up with my boyfriend of three years. It was because we knew things were going to be difficult on the longrun. But we still loved each other. Nevertheless, we can't ever be together again.

 

I've been trying my best to move on, but of course, I'm still hurt. It's so painful because he was my best friend in the whole world even before we got together.

Now that I have nobody to express my feelings and problems freely, I'm suffering. I have family problems too so there's no place where I can be peacefully..

I thought I was going okay, but there are many days when I cry and cry.

I've been fighting the urge from breaking the NC

 

I know keeping myself occupied is a good way to stop thinking about him and missing him so terribly.

So I want to ask the enotalone users,

 

What do you do to stop these sad feelings about your ex from taking over you??

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Time. As cliche and annoying and frustrating as it is when people say that, time will heal you.

Make sure you go out when you are invited. Don't sit at home and sulk when you have the opportunity to do things. Yes it hurts when you go out but it will benefit you further down the track. I would and still do go out, get to my destination and feel very depressed and want to go home. It sucks but if you postpone socialising, it will hurt you. Now three months on it's not as bad.

 

You invite some friends out. Movies, bowling, dinner etc. Even if you get declined it will hurt but you tried. Try, try and try again. It may not feel like it will get any better, but it will.

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When I start to miss my ex and feel down, I do something nice for myself. Like taking a hot bath or eating a piece of chocolate. It's like acknowledging the feelings and then comforting yourself (since there is no-one else to do it and you can't go crying on the phone with a friend everytime you miss him/her). Chocolate in particular can be good comfort sometimes..

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I read the last email I sent her to remind myself what she did.

I remind myself that she has gone off with a head who doesn't respect relationships.

I think about the amazing girl who is just around the corner, who will be more beautiful, more talented, and more amazing in every way from my ex.

And I go on a bit of a consumer bing! Going swimming with the dolphins this weekend. Was scuba diving last weekend, and just bought a full set of scuba equipment. And thinking about going for a tropical holiday in june/july to escape southern hemisphere winter!

 

I remind myself that I am an awesome guy, and if she wants to go off with a head who can't respect a relationship, that's her god damn problem.

 

I stand up, and I tell myself I am strong.

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Do everything every one says on here.

 

It will be hard, but you have to really, really force yourself, especially when it comes to thinking and missing your ex. You have to distract yourself and your thoughts. It took me a while to be able to do it, but eventually you will get stronger. I'm still not where I want to be but it has gotten better.

 

And yes, time. I hate that word but it's the truth.

 

Cry whenever you need to. It helps. I've cried a lot and I don't think I've ever cried more than I did in the past 4 months than my entire life.

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its only been a few weeks, you are going to hurt. Its okay to hurt after a 3year stint.. You are going to have your horrible times and your worse times and every so often, youll feel good. As you stay busy and get out and have fun youll see that those horrible moments will decrease and the okay moments will increase. After some time has past youll see that youll be happier more and more.

Everyone is different tho, for some it can take 2 months others 10 months or more. It really depends on you. Do things that make you happy and youll be on your feet smiling in no time. If you are doing laps in your own pity pool, then that recovery time will take longer.

Know in the long run you will be happy again. Take care of you, let life handle the rest

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Distract yourself. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to scream, scream. Give yourself 5 minutes a day to feel horrible and nothing more.

 

When people say "give it time" we tend to ignore it but it's true. I'm living it right now. It's been 3 months since the BU for me and it IS getting easier by the day. Little by little. Call some friends. Bake a cake with them. Watch movies all night. Spoil yourself.

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