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Week 8 post-BU, day 7 no contact. She called.


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After some texting back and forth which only caused me to set back I finally got all the advice and decided to go No Contact last week. Starting the day before I graduated, I thought this was a good occasion to begin a new chapter. And so I did. Last weekend I got a mail from her, it was a lame 'chainmail' thing like "when you forward this to 7 people this and that will happen bla bla.. " she never once sent me chainmail but this weekend she did. I just deleted it. But tonight she called... She has not done that since we broke up. There were some texts but no calls. I didn't answer her call as I was too surprised and didn't know what to do. And although this was just one call, and probably doesn't mean anything, I find myself wondering what she wanted to say. Perhaps congratulate me on graduating, but that was a week ago. I don't know. I was doing good actually thinking about her less and less (but still quite a lot). So I know what you're gonna say, stick to no contact.. Which I probably will but part of me is a little curious at why she called. It definitely put her back in the center of my thoughts. I am def. not healed.

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Good point. I think I'll just assume it was nothing important and if she wants to congratulate me she can text. If it is something important she'll let me know.

 

Exactly. If it is important she can leave a voice message.

 

Maybe block her number if this is causing you to feel bad.

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I don't feel bad actually.. It was one call. it might harm if she were to call more frequent, bc i would prob get my hopes up.. But if that happens i can still block her number. No need to do it for one call.. Just have to keep focussing on the healing.

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I'm afraid my curiosity has gotten the best of me. I ended up texting her few days later why she called that late at night. She said 'oh you know just checking how you are and if you're graduated yet.' Followed by some x'es. To which I responded briefly with 'I'm fine & Yes I am graduated and how are you' I tried to keep it light, with a smiley. Also because I was genuinely feeling happy this last week. She said she is doing ok, that she's alone a lot thinking about things. She asked what I was goin to do next and I replied 'have some fun and look for a job She replied with a 'YES YOU DESERVE IT!!'. I left it at that. But I find myself wondering why she said she is alone alot and thinking things through. I know, I should not get my hopes up, and I know it was rather stupid to reply to her calling. Bc now I am back to overthinking things when actually I was doing fine.. It's this tiny shred of hope inside me that desperately wants for this not to be true, that she will come back to me. I know chances are against me. Fell off the horse and gotta get back in the saddle now..

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She said those things precisely to MAKE YOU THINK what you're thinking now..... she wants to give the impression she's not checking out other guys, just spending time alone thinking about you and the breakup..... errrr, yeah right.

 

She wants to keep you as a Plan B option, so she dropped the breadcrumbs -- and this time, you took the bait. Hopefully next time, you'll know better!

 

I recommend blocking her, or changing your number... but I'm guessing you won't.

 

Focus instead on what she COULD'VE said but DIDN'T say: I made a huge mistake and want to get back together.

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Hahahaa!

 

Well, it's Saturday night and possibly that guy she was thinking of pursuing when she broke up with you DIDN'T pan out.... so she's feeling a bit rejected and bored and up for an ego stroke! What better way than to contact poor old Lucha, who's probably just been waiting and hoping all week for another call?

 

Make no mistake: IF she wanted to get back together, she'd just say so.

 

It's MUCH easier to ask for another chance than it is to break up with someone.

 

And if she wanted to ask for another chance.... she'd leave a message that makes it clear that she wants to talk to you about that. Everything else -- EVERYTHING else -- is breadcrumbs.

 

Don't call her back. Be strong!

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She's being flirty for exactly the reasons suggested above -- lonely, bored, looking for an ego stroke, wanting to keep you around as backup.

 

Look at what she's NOT saying: I made a huge mistake and want to get back together.

 

She's perfectly capable of telling you she wants to get back together -- IF that's what she wants. But she's not saying that. Right now, she's testing to see if you're going to be available as her Plan B or not. Let her know you're NOT going to be her emotional safety net to keep her company while she looks for her new girlfriend.

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