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Broke up after 4.5 years. He rebound in a week. Help.


frustr8dLDN

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This is a long one but I'd REALLY appreciate some help.

 

Me and my ex were together for 4.5 years. We met at work and he pursued me badly, at first I wasn't too sure but after a while I gave in and fell deeply in love. We were/are obsessed with each other and were very intense very fast.

 

For the last year together, my family started experiencing issues with unwell relatives abroad and work was getting stressful. I wasn't that fun to be around. Unfortunately later in the year the two family members died and it sent me into a spin. 2 weeks after coming home to the UK and being back home with him - I got an anonymous letter sent to my work informing me that he had been cheating.

 

I'm not making excuses but now in retrospect, I don't really believe the letter. I think it may have been my friends (who I'd just reconnected with, who didn't like him) trying to get me out of the situation. I know from his reaction that it wasn't true (Now).

 

Anyway - I snapped. That day I packed up my things and left and just felt absolute numbness towards him. I was gone for 2 months when I found out that a week later he had started seeing someone else. I was/am destroyed. From that moment, I haven't been able to eat properly, sleep properly and the dreams ruin me.

 

During the 2 months apart we spoke as friends through text. I could tell there were feelings, he'd get frustrated or upset if my reply was blase.

 

When I found out about the boy, I contacted him immediately and he confirmed it. He'd had a week off work when I left through stress and he'd met the person out - through a mutual friend.

 

So, of course, as I shouldn't, I started to fight for him. I met him once the day I found out - at this point I didn't ask for him back but I cried etc. The next day I asked for another chance. He said he needed time to think and I did my best but after almost 2 weeks, I was going to get ill. He said the stress was making him ill too. He cried at work etc. So I told him to get on with his life and I'll get on with mine. He said he loved me and always would.

 

We met to say goodbye. It was sad. He could barely look at me. I made an idiot of myself, said I wanted another chance etc and eventually stormed off. We then spoke on Whatsapp, I wished him and his boy the best and then he blocked me and unblocked me a couple of hours later. He blocked my Facebook and that's still blocked. I know he loves me still, but he has loyalty towards the new person as he was there when I had hurt him by leaving I guess. He told me he 'likes them''

 

(Sorry that this is so long).

 

He messaged me a few times and I replied very blunt and cut off conversation. He last messaged me 5 days ago saying he's going out with his boy to where we both party and would I be out incase it's awkward. I replied bluntly and then called his Mother (who's been a support for me) and asked her to inform him that I need him to not speak to me for a while. I've blocked him from all social media and from whatsapp, my phone and text.

 

Is now the time to do the NCR? I haven't spoken with him since then and I haven't even asked his mum what his reaction was to her telling him I'd asked for all contact to stop. He has been blocked on my Whatsapp since and I can see he's blocked me back since.

 

I am wondering about the him being with a rebound / NO contact rule chances here working in my favour?

 

I'd really appreciate your feedback. I am sort of in limbo at the moment.

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You didn't trust him (your "friends and their letter), you walked out on him and broke up with him.

This isn't a rebound...it is getting on with his life.

You need to let it go and move on.

 

It is not often you can call someone a liar...especially when they have done nothing wrong...walk out on them and later say "oops...my bad. Let's have a do over."

 

Life and emotional connections don't work that way.

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Wow. Good job Mhowe and Ms Darcy. You got this guy to see the light in 2 posts. That's gotta be a record.

 

Separate the wheat from the chaff!

 

Last year of relationship wasn't good...lack of trust...OP's bf had been distancing for a year.

Not 2 weeks.

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