Are Girls Afraid Of Attractive Guys?

[SoMuchLove]

Hello,

 

I am always told I am very attractive. I am curious as to if women are nervous around attractive guys and do they avoid talking to them? I also notice that many girls seem to play hard to get because I am attractive which I think is silly because looks don't count for anything and should not matter at all.

 

Any thoughts?

[John John]

I think it depends on how attractive the girl is. If she's below you in looks, she will probably be a bit nervous when talking to you, particularly if she likes you. On the other hand, hot girls get attention 24/7/365 (on and offline), so their confidence is already through the roof...ergo, they will probably not be nervous around you.

[happpybear]

Ya, it depends on the girl I think. I used to be really shy (and still am sometimes) and yes I can say that attractive men made me tongue-tied in an embarrassing way--so I would shy away from them. Sometimes it still happens, lol. There are things you can do to make a girl feel more at ease in your presence, be really friendly and open, try to be humble, don't focus on your looks, etc.

[SoMuchLove]

Thanks for the insight!

 

I'm usually really quiet and I feel as though I am approachable, though I notice that I tend to be avoided. Even when I do initiate things, make eye contact etc, they just look away or at the ground lol. I think some assume I'm some kind of player also though I even find that girls seem to act weird around me in regards to being just friends. I'm just tired of being confused lol.

[Catherine_3]

Honestly, I've never been particularily attracted to overly handsome men. Of course, this is all very subjective. But there's just something off-putting about a man who looks too "good".

[happyfrank]

Depends on the history of the girl. In high school the good looking guy could of teased or bullied them or simply ignored them.

 

Just by communicating with them and talk about they like can break that thought or can really judge you based on personality.

 

Sometimes it never works because the girl can be anti seducers. You don't want to deal with those girls anyways.

[SoMuchLove]

Yeah, it's just all so weird to me. I only recently started paying attention to the dating scene so the fact I am a late bloomer makes me "not get it" even more. I just talk to anybody no matter how attractive or "un-attractive" they may be though it just seems like maybe that's not something everybody does and is unnatural. They just do weird stuff and try and play mind games and all I'm thinking is we're just friends so what's the point in that? Maybe I'm weird because I don't try and date or have sex with every girl I meet. I know I'm one of the few guys that places girls in the friend-zone so maybe that's the problem?

[happyfrank]

Yeah, it's just all so weird to me. I only recently started paying attention to the dating scene so the fact I am a late bloomer makes me "not get it" even more. I just talk to anybody no matter how attractive or "un-attractive" they may be though it just seems like maybe that's not something everybody does and is unnatural. They just do weird stuff and try and play mind games and all I'm thinking is we're just friends so what's the point in that? Maybe I'm weird because I don't try and date or have sex with every girl I meet. I know I'm one of the few guys that places girls in the friend-zone so maybe that's the problem?

 

Not at all. That's awesome. The best way to really know somebody is over time.

[Ms Darcy]

I think that's a narcissistic kind of question. There are guys who are "models" but don't have good personalities and some women are not at all attracted to. Attraction is more complex than just looks.

[Ms Darcy]

Honestly, I've never been particularily attracted to overly handsome men. Of course, this is all very subjective. But there's just something off-putting about a man who looks too "good".

 

Agreed.

[mhowe]

Nope. Working summers in grad school...the most handsome guy walked into the restaurant where I was working...the women's jaws dropped. While he seemed kind of shy...I just chatted him in passing. By the end of the summer...he and I were dating. Turns out he had been overweight in HS and never dated much. Unlike you...he really didn't see the same man in the mirror...he still saw the guy no one wanted to date.

 

We dated for a year and a half...broke up due to lack of shared goals and ambition.

 

BTW...he is still single, still good looking but no longer drop dead gorgeous...and never found that ambition.

[chr8st8na]

I have been attracted to attractive guys and yes i look the other way.

[SoMuchLove]

I disagree that it's narcissistic. I'm simply confused and asking for clarity so I'd greatly appreciate not being judged.

 

Mhowe,

 

I see myself the same. I feel like just because I'm nice to look at doesn't mean I'm date material. I don't think I can have any girl I want nor am I over-confident. I just feel my looks project something false about me (halo effect) As I said, I'm a late bloomer so it's hard for me to view looks and attraction as the same as others. My mind still works by personality and I hate feeling like looks make people some kind of prize. I use the be very shy and still am sometimes. I am also a DJ/Producer and have my own company so maybe that tied with looking good is a bad combination to where girls see me and assume I must already be dating or that I can have any girl I want (which is far from truth). I feel like if I were less attractive dating would be easier. I feel like I'm seen as some kind of player.

[Ms Darcy]

Well - put it from another perspective. What's the bottom line? IF the bottom line is that you want to be able to engage in conversations with women you would like to date, you may actually hinder your chances of doing so with that frame of mind.

 

There are a myriad of reasons women may not be engaging with you. If you have an unpleasant, shy, or awkward personality, that could be much more of the problem than any perspectives on attractiveness. And instead of working on yourself, you'll attribute your lack of success to looks, do nothing, and continue to get the same results.

[John John]

I feel like if I were less attractive dating would be easier.

 

LOL. This is the most ironic line I have seen on ENA.

 

Dude...it aint your looks. Like Senorita Darcy said below...it's probably something to do with your personality. I have never heard of women shunning men because they look good!

 

I will say, though, I have kind of been where you are (though to a lesser extent, I would say). I never really thought of myself as good looking until my early 20s. I was chubby in middle school, and didn't have many friends then. I then went to an all boy high school, which really set me back socially. So in college, while I did "get girls," it definitely wasn't to the extent that some of my player friends did. My relative lack of success with women had to do with my personality at that time...I was REALLY awkward. And...(I hate to say it)...way too nice. This often got me friendzoned by girls. I mean, they loved talking to me, because I was very good at being personable ...but they didn't want anything more because the underlying confidence just wasn't there yet.

 

All in all...being good looking should NEVER be a hindrance in and of itself...but if you don't have the personality (not saying you don't, I'm just making a point), it won't add that much value in the long run. As my brilliant aunt says "a confident man is much more attractive than an attractive man."

[Ms Darcy]

Dude...it aint your looks. Like Senorita Darcy said below...it's probably something to do with your personality. I have never heard of women shunning men because they look good!

 

All in all...being good looking should NEVER be a hindrance in and of itself...but if you don't have the personality (not saying you don't, I'm just making a point), it won't add that much value in the long run. As my brilliant aunt says "a confident man is much more attractive than an attractive man."

 

^^What this guy says.

[Blue92]

I'm not not afraid of attractive men, as long as I don't have a crush on them (for reasons other than how they look) . Otherwise, I'm a total goofball, clutz.

[savignon]

Honestly, I've never been particularily attracted to overly handsome men. Of course, this is all very subjective. But there's just something off-putting about a man who looks too "good".

 

Agreed!!! I'm definitely not into super great looking guys....all things being, of course, subjective.

[quirky]

I have to say I am not naturally drawn to very good looking guys unless they appear weird in some way...something that makes them less perfect looking. I like imperfections and individual looks so I often notice more unusual looking people. My last ex was extremely attractive, approached by 3 modelling agencies, girls of all races would just eye him up..it made me feel quite insecure. A confident woman will be ok with it though. I prefer someone with similar level of attractiveness to me. I wouldn't have looked at him twice if walking down the street but I got to love him as a friend first.

[shelty24]

hot girls get attention 24/7/365 (on and offline), so their confidence is already through the roof...ergo, they will probably not be nervous around you.

 

I disagree with this. People don't get a whole lot of attention unless they go looking for it. I know ugly girls who have 3-4 guys fighting over them. They are manipulative, attention seeking, cheating, lying, dirty and plain narcissistic. Not all unattractive girls obviously-just the specific few I am talking about.

 

I have been told numerous times I could be a very successful model. I know I am attractive and get plenty of compliments everywhere I go but I don't go looking for attention and rarely ever have guys asking me out. Most men are too intimidated by a good looking girl to even talk to her.

 

As for OP's question. I think if someone has a crush on you then they probably will be shy around you regardless of your looks. But personality is more important to most women or at least equally important. I don't care how good looking someone is-if he has an awful personality-I wouldn't go near him. But then again he needs to have both looks and personality as well as brains to catch my attention

[mhowe]

I disagree with this. People don't get a whole lot of attention unless they go looking for it. I know ugly girls who have 3-4 guys fighting over them. They are manipulative, attention seeking, cheating, lying, dirty and plain narcissistic. Not all unattractive girls obviously-just the specific few I am talking about.

 

I have been told numerous times I could be a very successful model. I know I am attractive and get plenty of compliments everywhere I go but I don't go looking for attention and rarely ever have guys asking me out. Most men are too intimidated by a good looking girl to even talk to her.

 

Not true. What keeps men from approaching a woman is her attitude.

I am attractive...not a model. I have lived in my community for 30 years.

And if out alone was approached by men from all ages...

Some were looking for a night... some were looking for nothing more than good conversation.

[shelty24]

Well where I come from it is rare for a random guy to walk up to a stranger and ask her out. It doesn't happen too often. I don't have an attitude. I am quite open and friendly. I treat everyone with respect and kindness. My point is if someone is constantly getting lots of attention then they are likely seeking it.

[John John]

Well where I come from it is rare for a random guy to walk up to a stranger and ask her out. It doesn't happen too often. I don't have an attitude. I am quite open and friendly. I treat everyone with respect and kindness. My point is if someone is constantly getting lots of attention then they are likely seeking it.

 

I disagree. If I saw you in the streets of NYC, and you had a friendly demeanor, I would approach you. Initially, it would be because I thought you were attractive, but yes, personality would be what would keep me interested in actually dating you.

[shelty24]

Well like I said, that rarely happens where I am from and I would find it creepy if a random stranger asked me out. Most guys who have asked me out have at least had a few conversations with me first

[John John]

Well like I said, that rarely happens where I am from and I would find it creepy if a random stranger asked me out. Most guys who have asked me out have at least had a few conversations with me first

 

I didn't say I would ask you out right off the bat. I said I would approach you, and strike up a conversation with you (to start). If I sensed that my approaching you was "creepy" to you or you didn't seem very nice (not saying you aren't, I don't know you), I wouldn't ask you out just because you're attractive.