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Ex Left Months Ago. Please Give Advice (Kind Of Long)


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My ex dumped me about 5 months ago, and I never thought anything was wrong with our relationship, it came 4 days after the death of our twins. My mom came to comfort me for the loss of the babies and during that time she moved out. She told me she needed time to think about if this is what she really wants she no longer wanted to be tied down, did not want to be in a serious relationship and etc. She kept dragging me on saying she didn't want a divorce then she would change her mind and say that she did want a divorce. She said for right now she did not want to be with me but that might change in the future. After carrying her and taking care of her and making sure she had all the things she needed and me carrying babies that we both planned for almost 5 months she just up and left. then I found out she was dating someone new and that's the reason I was dumped. I still cant wrap my mind around the fact that we just lost the babies and then all of a sudden you don't want anything with me anymore. and then you have a new girlfriend. I have been nothing but faithful and the best I could be to her. Her mom and her both came to my house yelling that's why my babies died and I killed them and harassing me, I placed restraining orders on them both. I did finally move on from her and found someone who treats me like a queen. She has been the best I could have ever asked for, she goes to pregnancy loss support groups with me, every month on the babies anniversary she does something special for me. My soon to be ex wife is saying she wants to forget about the 2 years we have had with each other and forget about the babies. I cant help but to think that, that maybe Karma will visit her one for how heartless she is and has been to me. But recently I have ben having dreams of us reconciling and her apologizing and wanting to get back with me and its really been messing me up and messing with me. I do still love my ex because my heart is so big and we were together for 2 years and planned this life together. 1 week after I found out I was pregnant she came to me and told me that she wanted to get a sex change to become a male, I stood by her side every step of the way, I went to therapy appointments and to appointments with the doctor to make sure she is healthy enough to get the operation and I still loved her for her and not once did I judge her. I loved my wife and I would have done anything for her and supporting her for the sex change was a big step but I was ready to take that road with her. but she left all of that to be with a girl who is getting a settlement and supposed to be a lot of money. What should I do to stop having these dreams, what should I do to understand we are never getting back together, what should I do to understand that she is in love with someone else, what should I do to understand that she is never going to apologize, never going going to come back, and most of all never going to regret what she has done. Please anyone with experience or just words of wisdom help me. I don't want to lose my girlfriend, but I do want to really let go of my ex. I cant help but feeling like there is something wrong with me. that I messed up, that I didn't support her enough, that I didn't cater to her enough, that I did not love her enough. for another woman to take my wife and for my wife to leave, there has got to be something wrong with me. And if you didn't realize by now that I am a lesbian, please no judgments I really need some words of advice or encouragement. Thank you all for your time. Also she has filed for a divorce and a motion to speed up the process, so that is happening and the divorce will be finalized in a couple of months.

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This is the worst thing for someone to ever go through, the loss of babies is something so terrible I really feel for you. I would say that maybe the grief has sent her away but the way she is treating you is disgusting. You will never understand why, and it will take sine time to accept it. terrible people do terrible things and you can't understand because you are not one if those terrible people, which is something to be thankful for. I'm glad you have someone to support you, and I'm sure the group you go to is helping. Maybe some one to one counselling? To straighten out what you want to know? You want answers, and since she is not there to answer them, and quite frankly she doesn't deserve your breath, seeing someone who can give you a view might help. Hoping the healing process is kind to you x

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