Mb1212 Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Long story short my ex and I started seeing each other march of 2010 broke up last year but continued communication up until somewhat recently. We did not have a healthy relationship and I can admit that my attachment to him is unhealthy. When we ended things we were having a conversation about what we were, see I moved two states away after the breakup. He knew that I still loved him and that I was willing to do long distance but ultimately he told me that I couldn't force him to commit and that he can't make me promises that he won't date someone else or someone else isn't going to come along and grab his interest. I understand this, we live nowhere near each other I don't have plans on moving back for the next couple of years or when I finish school. It hurt me though because I was more than willing to be committed and faithful if we were to be together. I decided to have the conversation because I know how unhealthy it is to have contact with your ex and I needed it to be going in the right direction or done for good. So it's done for good and we have not been in contact for a while. I can't help but feel like a failure that he couldn't love me enough to commit to me that he didn't recognize how much I've done for him and how much I've put up with. Just before this talk he was telling me how it always will come back to me and how much he loves me and respects me and he would never disrespect me blahblahblah. Anyways I've been struggling the last few weeks because I feel like I'll never move on like this is just how I'm destined to feel. I loved him at his lows I loved him at his highs I feel like I rode with him through everything and did everything I could to be the right person for him and that we could have had a very happy relationship one day. I had forgiven him for all the things in the past which I probably shouldn't have ever done but regardless I did and I was ready to have a better brighter future. But then he the one who can't commit to me and just wants me to "chill" and let things be how they are which is no commitment but talking every day sending pictures having phone sex and being actively involved in the other persons life. I just don't know how to move on. Aside from time and space which is exactly what I'm doing. He's blocked on everything we aren't in communication or even able to if we wanted. I don't want to date I don't want anybody else I just want to learn to be happy independently on my own and I really don't know how. I know this is more of a rant but I'm feeling hopeless today so any words of advice even criticism will help. Thank you Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 Seek some therapy so you can learn about co-dependent relationships. Long distance relationships are impossible to begin with. When you add it to unhealthy... they just wouldn't work. You will move on...as hard as that is to believe now. Link to comment
Mb1212 Posted January 22, 2014 Author Share Posted January 22, 2014 I have been thinking about therapy I know it's something I could benefit from. The problem is I don't have much money and I have looked online for support groups and what not but haven't had much luck. I was going to go into the counselors office at my college and see if they offer any kind this week. Link to comment
silversoul Posted January 22, 2014 Share Posted January 22, 2014 I believe if love is strong enough, a man will wait for you. He is not able to love you and appreciate your love but it has nothing to do with you. He just doesn't love you and he decided not to love you. It is his decision and has to do little with your worth. Imagine, you will let go of him and find someone who is able to truly appreciate you. How great would it be to received the same amount of care that you give.In order to find that right man for you, you need to let go of this situation and be happy for yourself. I'm hurting as much as you are now, so I understand your pain very well. Please never think this break-up has something to do with you worth. Things will get better, I really hope for both of us, you know. Hugs to you. Link to comment
Mb1212 Posted January 22, 2014 Author Share Posted January 22, 2014 Just found out the whole time we were trying to make it work he was talking to an ex that he repeatedly told me he wouldn't talk to because it would be so disrespectful to me Link to comment
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