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What do i do with my heart love


Alber

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This is my story.

 

I'm 20 years old, at the end 2011 I saw this girl at the college corridor, her beauty went straight to my body, and she has long brown hair, green eyes,

Beautiful smile, sexy lips, tall, elegant, cute, amazing body, beautiful face, cute round cheek, she was perfect in my eyes,

And she even play guitar, and was good paint.

 

Days and weeks think about her imagine, I got courage to speak and it wasn't to say just hi, I was going to speak and tell what

I feel. The first time i was going to speak with her, my heart was pumping so hard and sweating everywhere, but at the end I lost

My courage. The second time I got courage and I ask if i could speak to her, she goes if she has to.

 

She didn’t know who I was, and it was the first time I heard a voice, we got to quite place, and just straight away tell my feelings tell her, and how much i love her and I can’t stop think about her.

A week after we meet, and we kiss, the next week we are a couple she was my first really girlfriend, I had previous girls, but nothing compare to Karolina (her).

 

I love her so much I want everything so quick, i wanted meet her parents, i wanted to know everything about, i was rushing.

Then I told her i never made love with no one, and i was waiting for the special one. But she has been with two guys before one at age 15 and another 16, at this time

We was 17, it was so confusing to me, and many times I could let think she has been with another guys, i felt it was fair but I learn to let her past, be the past. A week before my birthday we made love.

 

(Here where the pain starts) in 2013 she went to Lithuania (she from Lithuania) for a month, then she came back and ten days after I was going to Portugal

(I'm from Portugal) for holiday, she was supposed to come with my family to Portugal, but at the end she didn’t come because with her health, but before her health she wasn’t motivate to come with me and my family to come to Portugal. When I was in Portugal it was her Birthday, but before i went to Portugal i went to florist to bring this beautiful flower to her in her birthday, we talk in that day and everything was all good, she said how much special i made her in that day. But after our calls and our Skype conversation changes issues comes up, she start to say i don’t want her to go out and enjoy her life, which is not true, which i never stopped her doing nothing, and everything start to complicate and be out control, my holiday was ruin, and last day in Portugal I force all my family, aunt, cousins etc to go to this place to buy this sea thing that i know her mum would love it.

 

I came back from Portugal, me and family went go meet her, because she was taking care of my dog, we wanted to get the dog. she actually was walking Tazmin (dog) we get out of the car and I kiss, i felt something was missing. Then we went inside of her house she was strange, I couldn’t feel her love.

 

I question her, but i got no answer. Then she goes on, she wants to be free girl, meant she didn’t want to be with me, I was so confusing because both didn’t do nothing bad, i was always loyal to her, i never touch girl, i many times i didn’t even look at another girls. I brake up with her, because everything was confusing, but the next day she ask to meet, and that she's sorry and she change her mind. Then few days after we separate again.

Days goes on, and i found out she been with this guy when i was in Portugal, then someone told me there was a kiss with a dj of a club.

We meet and she tells she likes this guy and actually doesn’t tell me who this guy, but was the guy who was posting song on her Facebook, and I also saw

he post kiss in her Facebook which she delete, I question her when i was in Portugal only thing she said was is no one and is old guy. But that no one and old guy (39) was the dj and which find out few days after.

 

Many days i go after, say how much i want her, and i need her to be happy. at the end, i end up hurt my heart, and cried many times, but hurt my heart the most when she use to speak about him with this smile on her face.

 

her family find out, i was against her relation with the man, and confuse her family was he was from Africa. her family start to control

her and eventually she wrote a letter and she was gone, in she told me she was going to run away, but i didn’t believe her, she didn’t told me

the day she was gone that she was going, but i felt something and i talk to her sister in that evening and i ask what happen, and her sister

tells me she was gone.

And she went to Portugal with him.

 

5 months has pass, and every day i think about her, when i was with her i gave all my love, i remember make her tickers, gave so much of me

we use to be great in bed, she used to say i was perfect, she said before she thought there was no love like movies but there is our, she made portrait of us two,

She made a scarf for me, she made 4 pillows each contain a letter saying LOVE. there was so much love, but when i went to Portugal everything was gone.

in 2012 she went to Lithuania for 3 months and i went to Greece for 10 days, but she came strange too, but nothing serious. But she gone, and in Portugal.

 

Right now, I think she in London, she never live in Boston (town i live, UK) but i find out he been given to her things, clothes, perfume and etc.

 

I simply don’t know what to do, i think of her every day and still love her. And i don’t know if will forget she had sex with him when in Portugal, she said was just kiss,

But when i came from Portugal i felt her vagina was different was more wide. And he has age to be her dad. ohhh, when she was with him, before she went to Portugal me and Karolina made love for the last time, meaning she betrayed him.

 

Should i go after her, the love my life?

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No.

 

I really think you need to let this one go... as far as you can tell, you did nothing wrong. However, the kind of passion you describe, all the way from being madly in love with her even though you've never spoken to her, to wanting to meet her parents straight away, is likely to feel really overwhelming for the person on the receiving end of it. And they're likely to RUN, even if it's very flattering to begin with.

 

After all, it's not really about her, but a fantasy woman you have in your head. You didn't take the time to get to know the real her before you'd fallen madly 'in love' with her.

 

Learn from this experience, and if you ever find yourself overwhelmed with romantic feelings for someone who doesn't even know who you are - get a grip. If love is going to last, it has to be founded on trust, respect and mutual values. With someone you've only been looking at from a distance, you just haven't got enough information to go on. As it is, she's clearly a young woman wanting to experience life and is nowhere near wanting to settle down and become part of someone else's family. She isn't looking for what you've got to give, and no amount of pursuit is going to change that.

 

Stop trying to contact her, block any means she has of contacting you, and get on with your life. Stop trying to find out what's going on in her life, and what other men are doing with her. Act as if you'd never met her.

 

Anything else is likely to lead to even more heartache and heartbreak for you. I get that it's really painful now, but at least you have a chance to walk away.

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Man, you just have to deal with the loss in a healthy way. Don't turn to drugs or drink. Try daily exercise, even if for 20 minutes, prayer, read some books... listen to some music. Pick up an instrument. I know you feel though, I've been there too. It took me a year once to recover from something like this and I feel your pain bro.

 

the problem is, even if you get her back, which you MIGHT not ever be able to do (and that's torture in itself) then, things won't be the same. right now you want to re-live all of the moments of the past but the truth is, once trust is broken like that, it's nearly impossible to do, and usually these things have a tendency to repeat.

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