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Finding Myself Attracted To Another...


Aash

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Help!

 

About 2.5 years ago I met a somewhat famous musician - we hit it off chatting etc, and exchanged Facebook etc. Anyway, I saw him again almost a week ago. He remembered me straight away and spent at least 50% of the night finding me to chat again, and a lot of 'heartfelt' stuff was included (ie. about his young daughter etc). At the end of the night, he said goodbye and promised to look me up if ever he was back in my city and for me to do the same if ever I was in his city (which is my hometown).

 

The opportunity has come up to go to my hometown this weekend... the question being, do I contact him? I feel we definitely clicked, but who knows...

 

I am currently in a relationship which is nice, but somewhat stagnant. I would never cheat, but would it be wrong to meet up with the musician? Or would it make me look like a creepy stalker?

 

Argh!!

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Read again the topic of your post. You are attracted to a man other than your boyfriend. That is very much how cheating starts. You haven't cheated yet but you are considering opening a door that might lead to cheating if the chance presents itself. It would be much more constructive to address the problems that are making your current relationghip stagnant...

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Thankyou for the clarity... The reason why I have not asked my bf is because he has always been extremely jealous of other men. I unfortunately let a few friendships slide as he wasn't happy with me hanging out with them. Before he met me, he had never really been in a relationship, he told me that numerous girls had cheated on their boyfriends with him... I'm assuming that is where the trust issue comes from.

 

Once again, thanks for your input it is much appreciated!

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"I feel we definitely clicked" sounds like you are thinking of being with him instead of your bf. Remember, you don't know him. His character, reliability, compatibility is untested. This is sounds like lust... fix it with your bf if you are serious about your bf.

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Hanging out with another man you are attracted to whilst you are in a relationship is wrong. You evidently want more from this man and regardless of whether it does or doesn't happen you need to tackle your "stagnant" relationship first.

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Well you're attracted to him so you wouldn't be meeting up just for 'friendship' but having in mind that something may come of it, which is sort of cheating. I guess if you met the musician and he didn't show interest, you could tell yourself you only met him 'as a friend', because you got on so well. If he did show interest in being more you seem like you're interested. But this isn't the way to do things. If you're not happy with your bf do something about that, but be honest with him. Don't meet up with the other guy while you're still with your bf because it would be deceptive. And then again, to meet the musician and find that he wasn't interested in starting anything with you, that wouldn't be a good reason to stay with your bf. Be upfront is best.

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You say you are attracted to him, and you mentioned you are in a not-so-good relationship currently. SO, if you aren't happy - get out and go date musicians or else.

You seem like someone who doesn't want to dump her BF, but still wants to go for a little flirt with a famous musician, without anybody getting hurt. As agent said - if you just want to meet him - tell your guy you want to go see that guy and go and see him. But I have a feeling that is not the case here.

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what you have here are all the ingredients to set up cheating.

 

No, if the musician really wanted to deal with you, he'd have stayed in touch with you even after he left town. Also, he more than likely has a woman/wife he's living with who most likely would not appreciate you showing up to "click" with her man.

 

You've already got a relationship you need to sort and that is where your focus should be right now, not in chasing after someone whose job it is is to be nice to fans. He most likely clicks with a lot of chicks in whatever town he happens to be in.

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Hanging out with someone you're attracted to by yourselves is always, always the start of something. If it's all that innocent then bring the BF along and let him share in your celebrity friendship too. Otherwise leave this one alone or at least have the decency to tell your BF you've met someone else. Then go pursue the musician who frankly sounds like he's just setting you up to be the port for his loneliness in your particular town. He hasn't pursued you beyond a rather lazy chatting you up when it's convenient to him and then telling you to look him up, again when it's convenient to him. Sorry, that's not the mark of someone who wants to be your boyfriend, that is the mark of someone who wants an occasional one-night stand whenever he's in your area. Musicians get lonely too and my guess is there's more than one of you out there that he does this with. Otherwise he'd have pursued you far beyond just the whole "Yeah, hey you're here, I'm here, what do you say?"

 

At least have the decency to let your guy go if you're going to cheat--especially with a famous musician. It's bad enough already, but that is going to really rip the guy's heart out. (Shudders) Then you'll be free to pursue whatever it is you think is there. Just be prepared for it to not be quite as special as you thought it was.

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Dating people in the entertainment business is a challenge (I've been there). They are a different breed and you pretty much live their life if you want it to work out. You would risk a 'maybe' mutual attraction with a person that works in an industry that challenges relationships in the best of times for a solidly committed man? I would think that one over if I were you.

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Thankyou for the clarity... The reason why I have not asked my bf is because he has always been extremely jealous of other men. I unfortunately let a few friendships slide as he wasn't happy with me hanging out with them. Before he met me, he had never really been in a relationship, he told me that numerous girls had cheated on their boyfriends with him... I'm assuming that is where the trust issue comes from.

 

Once again, thanks for your input it is much appreciated!

 

It's not jealousy when you SO reacts negatively to you behaving inappropriate toward the opposite sex. Go ahead and sleep with famous guy - I'm sure it will solve all your problems.

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Thankyou for the clarity... The reason why I have not asked my bf is because he has always been extremely jealous of other men. I unfortunately let a few friendships slide as he wasn't happy with me hanging out with them. Before he met me, he had never really been in a relationship, he told me that numerous girls had cheated on their boyfriends with him... I'm assuming that is where the trust issue comes from.

 

Once again, thanks for your input it is much appreciated!

 

This doesn't have anything to do with your boyfriend being jealous of other men or you letting a few relationships slide .. that is a different matter entirely. This is about your relationship being "stagnant" and you meeting up with a guy you are attracted to. Two different situations completely.

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Did you mention your boyfriend when you were chatting up the musician?

Just curious.

 

I think you are gearing up to cheat. As for if you would look like a crazy stalker to the musician or not; I don't think so. You'd just look like a woman who is up for an easy hook up and who will go out of her way to get it.

 

I also agree with whoever said that if the musician had wanted anything at all from you beyond that, he would have pursued you ages ago.

 

Basically you are thinking of cheating on a guy who cares about you for a guy who doesn't give two s/ts about you.

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Look I'm not telling you to cheat but you only go around once and as long as you're not married you are typically still a free agent. You have to be with multiple people before marriage to FIND the right one.

 

Not when the other person thinks they are exclusive. If someone is in a committed relationship then, no, they are not a free agent.

 

If someone is under the impression they are in a committed relationship but their partner is seeing "multiple" people then that is wrong and their partner is cheating. No excuses. No justifications.

 

If however they were dating casually - and both know they are dating others casually too - then it would be a different matter entirely.

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