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Let's start the year off right, another rejection

onedaysoonx1

By onedaysoonx1
in Dating Advice

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onedaysoonx1 Newbie

onedaysoonx1

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2013 wasn't a very good year for me, in regards to relationships. I dealt with one rejection after another, but towards the end of the year, I met someone on a dating website, just prior to my vacation in Hawaii.

 

My past experiences have taught me to be guarded, and to err on the side of caution. That is, downplay everything, and not expect too much in return. I've been hurt badly in the past when I got my hopes up too much, only to end up disappointed by the final outcome.

 

Anyway, we started texting when I was in Hawaii. The messages were infrequent at first, but gradually we started texting everyday. By the end of the trip, we even had a few deep conversations. I was very much enjoying getting to know someone again, and would regularly send her photos from all the different places I was visiting. Things were good, and I was getting a very good vibe from her. One night, she noticed that my texts were coming in many minutes apart (due to unstable internet), and replied, "you don't have to talk to me tonight if you're busy, I understand." I replied back, "no, I want to talk to you." And I did. On a few nights, I even passed up on the opportunity to sight see, and would just chill in on the balcony, talking to her.

 

She seemed to appreciate it. She would text back things like, "aww that's sweet." So, naturally, I was very eager to meet her in person. I arrived back from my trip last week and we met up last Friday night. Initially, we couldn't agree whether to meet on Friday or Saturday, so I half joked, "how about we meet on Friday night? If things go well, I'll pick you up on Saturday."

 

Fast forward to Friday, and I wasn't able to get reservations to the restaurant b/c they didn't take any over the phone. I arrived early, maybe 2 hours early to make sure we got a table on time. I was willing to do all that b/c I thought she was worth the effort. She showed up on time, and from the moment we met, I could tell she was disappointed. Conversation was natural and we laughed a lot, but I did notice that she wouldn't make eye contact with me. Towards the end of the night, she kept on suggesting, "should we head out now?" Which is never a good sign... Finally, I asked her if she would be interested in meeting up again tomorrow, and she replied, "I'm probably going to be busy... I have to visit my parents... etc, etc."

 

That told me all I needed to know... She claimed to have had a good time, but I knew she was just being nice to spare my feelings... And just like that, I never heard from her again... In some ways, I get it. Chemistry and attraction aren't things you can force, so if the feeling isn't there, then you can't really help that... Still, after having so many conversations and spending so much time texting one another, I kind of thought she would be maybe less judgmental, or at least willing to give it some time before passing a final decision? It can't be easy to open up to someone and share all these personal stories, feelings and then just blow it off after one meeting, can it?

 

I guess I won't ever really understand since I'm not wired like that... I'm a very kind person... I like to give people chances... I even find perfection in imperfections. So, I would never be so quick to pass judgement on her. After all, what if she was having a bad day? Or, she was just shy? Chemistry doesn't always happen instantly, right? Oh well, I guess there's no point in crying over spilled milk. I'll just pick up the pieces, move on and try again. Just kind of bummed things turned out the way they did.

 

I'm a good guy... I just need someone to give me a chance. I'm worth the effort...

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shellyf62 Proficient

shellyf62

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Posted

I'm sorry that things didn't work out for you, that is the hard part of online dating.

 

I think that spending so much time texting before meeting gives you a false sense of closeness. I have had a few instances where I have clicked with someone over text & phone calls, only to meet them & there be no spark whatsoever.

 

In future try to meet someone sooner rather than later, endless chatting just wont give you a true representation of the person.

 

Good luck......

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