Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I'm going to bang out the 2 completely unrelated things on my mind in one thread. Please respond to either or both:

 

Not-a-real-problem A) After joining OKC this week, I IM'd with a guy a bit who is my taste in terms of looks and we got along well in the IMs so I gave him my #. We had discovered we have some mutual friends and he had found me on FB (via mutual friend) while we were IMing. The next morning he texted me hello, and said hi on OKC, AND FB msg'd me "goodmorning". I didn't respond for a very long time and it was a brief convo about what we were each up to. Is it a red flag that he was so "eager" or am I being silly? He has a daughter who he talks about in his profile but it turns out he dated the mom (who he had known prior) while she was already pregnant with someone else's kid and the biological father gave up his rights right away. So, they were together 7 years and he considers this his child even though he's not the biological father. The end part doesn't seem 'red flag'-ish (the daughter), but dating someone who's pregnant and so readily taking on her child seems red flag-ish. Anyways, I'm not sweating this guy or stressing...just checking on my red-flag meter as it has proven to need some adjusting!!!

 

Not-a-real-problem B) My daughter's 3rd birthday party is coming up. We live in a condo complex where we've made some neighbor friends with same-age kids. There's one neighbor guy who's a drunk, a little loud/obnoxious, hits on all the women in the complex behind his wife's back, will pick fights with people at the pool, and his kid is a nightmare...he's super rough, knocks everything over, gets into everything, etc. The last time he was here he blew past my daughter, knocking her over and her tooth went through her lip causing massive bleeding and her tooth to turn greyish. He didn't do it on purpose but he's just totally unaware of his surroundings. He is super poorly behaved and his parents basically think he's 'tough' and that that's a good thing. So, in reality I have no interest in my daughter being friends with this kid in the future or in myself being friends with the parents. But is this a case where since the 4 kids are friends (neighbors) I should be polite and invite them all? I'm guessing my daughter will be invited to his birthday party which is the week before hers. They're still so young but at what point do you cut that off? I'm pretty sure I will come off as a huge snob if I don't invite them. I could probably stand them once or twice a year...so is that the right thing to do??

 

Appreciate any and all thoughts....thanks, pals!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hmmm... As for the first one...I don't think the guy sounds over eager. Just interested. If he blows your phone up I would be concerned. As for the daughter he claims....he sounds like a stand up guy for doing that.

 

As for B) you don't have to care what people think of you regarding your child's welfare. Safety first. Do what your instincts tell you to do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

#2: I don't think it's an issue. I'm fairly discerning about who I'm friends with. In my circle of mom friends, there are certain moms who I didn't want to become friends with. Just never clicked. So I didn't accept their fb friend requests, I don't attend playdates at their place, I don't invite them to mine... So what? It's not manditory to befriend people you don't click with.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As for A, yeah I would see those things as a red flag in the sense that he sounds like a "fixer" or "knight-in-shining-armor" type guy. Fast and clingy and drawn to situations that he perceives as him being needed, like single moms. Likewise, I don't see him adopting the child as his own as the issue, it's more about how he got there.

 

As for B, "good fences make good neighbors". You are not obligated to socialize with your neighbors, especially those you don't like and it's probably a really good idea to keep neighbors at a polite arm's length. If some happen to be genuine friends, that's one thing, but outside of that, I wouldn't get too involved and that includes invitations to parties and get togethers. It's your private life after all and neighbors don't have claims on that. It's more peaceful that way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...