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GF still in contact with ex


F4286

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Hi,

 

Just after some advice, been together with my gf for 4 months now, before I got with her, she was in contact with her ex who she split with 6 odd years ago, he's in a long term relationship himself, anyway, I've told her about 3 months back I wasn't too keen on it, he still text her and the other morning, he text her saying there was something he wanted to ask her but forgot what it was, we went out with friends last night and she didn't really seem herself, I asked her what was up when we got back and all she said was nothing, I'm seeing her again tonight and I don't know whether to ask if she's still hung up over her ex or something but don't wanna come accross as some insecure !!

 

She's always telling me how she fell for me way too easily etc and how much she loves me and if you've read my previous threads, you'll see she cut ties with her best mate to be with me and didn't move down south which she was originally going to do before I got with her?

 

Bit confused to be honest, any opinions?

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After 6 years since her and her ex splitting I don't think they would have any kind of relationship other than friends. Does she discuss what they talk about to you, or have you asked to see texts and she shows you? If she already cut contact with one male(?) to make you feel more comfortable that might mean that friend was acting inappropriate with her and she felt he should go too but maybe the ex isn't being inappropriate with her ..only random chitchat. Discuss it again with her but don't be too demanding.

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If they had a LTR of 6 yrs.. and you happened along soon after their split. Good chance, she is not over him at all.

It takes much time to get over a loss of a LTR- many months, usually.

 

I am on month 9 from a 5 yr relation, which threw me for a major loop. It can be very hard to 'let go', accept and move on with life, especially when you lost someone you came to love for so long.

 

I'd ask her seriously if she is over him at all.

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Yeah she does, I don't even ask and she'll say "oh so and so said this" I don't really want to see the texts cause don't think its any of my business and I do trust her, he contacts her prob every 3 odd days? She didn't cut contacts with another male, I was dating her best mate of 12 odd years then starting seeing this girl and the girl I used to see said she had to chose her or me as she couldn't handle us 2 being together

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Its fine. I am a girl and I know what you feel about her. though I am not in contact with my ex, (we broke up 3yrs back) my BF is in contact with his 2yr ex (broke up a yr ago). Its not that all time texting or you know, frequently texting or calling up types..Its these b'day wishes etc. Just an occasional text. I wasn't very comfortable too but believe me, if you're truly in love with her, you'll do either of these things:

-trust her completely and speak openly about this to her in person (not over texts/calls/chats)

-Ask her to be open about her communications with him if at all you still feel something fishy!

-Tell her how much you hate infidelity and how much you really love being in a meaningful-permanent type relationship with her ( I spoke about this to my BF, I believe in being a one-man-woman, and he's my second BF, and he's going to be my hubby forever too!)

 

I'm sure she'll understand, she wouldn't like to hurt you, considering the fact that she chose you over her long time friends! She really loves you too! Dont you worry, a bit of patience and communication will work wonders in your love!

Good luck!

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