Jump to content

Thoughts on Friends With Benefits


xXxSarah

Recommended Posts

So I dated this guy for a year and a few months. We broke up about 3 weeks ago. At first I was sad of course. We just are not compatible in a relationship. I'm not even sure after a few weeks of thinking and reflecting if I ever loved him. I feel like I got confused between love and lust since we had an extremely strong physical attraction to each other and a connection that I can't explain. I have been asked a million times what I like about him and besides for his physical appearance and the fact that he's funny I really don't know what else I like. He also does not love me anymore, but says he still misses me, but it gets easier every day to deal with. He also has no idea what he likes about me. There are certain things I miss about him, but what hit home for me and opened my eyes was the fact that the only things I really miss about being with him is all the physical stuff. I don't miss anything about his personality or how he treated me, just sex, cuddling and I also miss sleeping next to someone every night. He was a real jerk to me when we were together. Long story short, he did not treat me very well. Also, rejection just hurts in general. It sucks that I got dumped and it sucks to know that he just didn't want to try and make our relationship work anymore. After talking for the first time in weeks I suggested being friends with benefits. I sincerely just enjoy having sex with him and want to continue that without the ties of a relationship. I genuinely DO NOT want to get back together with him. I mean, I wish things were different and we were compatible, but we just aren't. At first he was hesitant. He said it probably wasn't a good idea to continue to hook up. He said "something might happen", and I can only assume that means that he's afraid I would want to get back together with him or vice-versa. I'm just a little confused because he said he doesn't love me anymore and he even said while he's still physically attracted to me he isn't as attracted to me as he was when he broke up with me.

 

Well, we ended up hooking up once. It seemed like he was really uncomfortable. I reassured him that I really wasn't interested in getting back together, but he keeps saying that hooking up just "feels weird because, it feels like before" (as in still being together). What do you guys think this means? I mean I still enjoy hooking up, but I know that we are still broken up and I still don't want to get back together... He still wants to hook up again, but he says he's on the fence about this whole friends with benefits thing because of the whole it feels like before thing and, he says something might happen. What are your thoughts on this. Boys are hard to read haha help! I always thought a guy would be happy with just hooking up with no ties!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You WILL get hurt should you FWB. No matter how old you are. And that last paragraph sounds like it will definitely hurt him. And since you admitted he did not treat you well, it will lead to him hurting you from that. I suggest the most physical you get is hugging when you see each other and maybe hand holding if feelings return but you can not start a FWB with him. Everyone who can give you advice, every TV show and movie you see about it, and hopefully your concience should all tell you that you will get hurt.

 

This is hard to believe I know but you can either do one of two things:

1) do it and be really hurt a few months down the road and back on this site.

2) dont do it but never witness or experience the consequences

 

I highly suggest you do option 2. I know it's hard because you'll be wondering and curious still because you didn't become FWB, but that's a lot better than feeling used, depressed, sad, and hating yourself for what you've done.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Boys are hard to read haha help! I always thought a guy would be happy with just hooking up with no ties!

 

I don't think he's hard to read, but rather he seems to be using common sense. Also, I find it sad that you would settle for selling yourself at such a cheap rate. Why not look for someone whom you're attracted to, and vice versa?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...