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Do I have a second chance still?


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My ex and me dated for about 4 months at university, together officially for 2.

I have previously had a long 5 year (on/off) relationship and in those 4 months I loved and felt more loved than I ever have. They were the happiest months of my life.

He wasn’t a big communicator, the only issue we had was when he would randomly stop talking before we were official.

When I came home for the 4 month break things got bad. I had surgery, the anesthetic increased my anxiety and the difficulties of distance meant I started arguments, wondered why he wasn’t talking to me. We decided it was difficult and broke up, crying, telling each other we would be together again etc. etc.

A month passed and we barely spoke, i later found out that he hadn't been receiving my messages and I hadn't been getting his, he thought i had moved on and got a new girlfriend. The night he got a new girlfriend I rang him, i told him it was a bad idea, i cried, we talked for 2.5 hrs.

Less than a month passes with limited communication and then on December 22nd he said everything I had been wanting to hear. He said he loves me, he misses me, he regrets breaking up with me and would want to get back together at university. We flirted via text and snapchat for about a week, I got a “merry christmas beautiful on christmas” life seemed perfect. He broke up with his girlfriend on the 29th of December and that is when it started to go wrong.

That night he barely contacted me, the next day he said he was in a bad mood, and i got nothing on new years. I contacted him on the 2nd of January asking what was going on. He told me that his ex had been abusing him over social media etc. and causing him to get angry at everyone. He said he didn’t want to fight, or push me away so he was keeping his distance. I should have backed off then, but I didn’t.

January 4 - I said i missed him, he said “I miss you too xx”.

January 9 - I said something about cuddles, he told me to stop over thinking and that cuddles would be good

January 11 - I got anxious, he said that nothing had changed.

He kept reassuring me, but I just got more anxious and insecure and kept contacting him when I should have been giving him space. I started overthinking every picture he liked, every message, every silence, it was killing me.

I had recently moved towns, i don’t know anyone, i had nothing to do and even though I had never been that type of girl, he had become my whole life.

January 11 - His ex rang him, he wrote a status, i didn’t see the status at first and wrote one of my own about relationships, he thought i was getting at his ex relationship and got angry. I cleared it up, told him i was there for him and we ended the night with him saying ‘goodnight x’

January 12 - we said sent some sext sort of things to each other, but he was still seeming distant.

On January 14 he posted some lyrics “you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone” which was our song type of thing. Because of the distance I thought that this couldn’t be about me and so got upset and angry. ‘text yelled’ at me, telling me to look up the song it was from. I unfortunately, in my anger, told him to stop ‘f*****g me around’. This made him angrier.

Later I sent a huge message with all my feelings and apologies. He replied with “omg I have absolutely no idea what to reply to that except

After overthinking, on January 15 I changed my mind and wanted a better answer. Stupid. This made him annoyed because he said I always changed my mind about stuff. After sending multiple text messages I ended up ringing him and we had a perfectly normal, happy conversation, no lovey stuff. he said he would text me the next day, he didn’t.

January 18 - I sent a message, yet again, about his silence and the fact he was ignoring all my messages and snapchats. he sent a message saying “Just relax please don’t continuously push the issue as this is the only thing that pisses me off! your life shouldn’t revolve around me”

I sent an apology message about 9 pm, saying that I would back off, i’m not usually like this, and I would see him at uni.

About the same time a friend of his posted on his wall “don’t let the b*****s get to you and drag you down, i got your back hun”.

He deleted this as soon as he was online, about 10pm.

About 1 am I wrote a status saying “just tell the world my problems, thanks heaps” this was hours after the post had been deleted.

He then liked my post, he barely EVER likes my posts, or really many peoples for that matter. He generally only likes profile pictures of blonde girls, including mine.

Ever since then I have ceased contact (now Jan 20th) and have been trying to get out there and do stuff, not let him be my life and show him that through Facebook.


This all happened in less than a month. Do you think he still loves me somewhere deep down or have I completely ruined my shot at a second chance?

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Sounds like he needs some space.


You seem to think his last relationship meant nothing and he should just happily move on to you. That's not good for you or him unless you just want to be a rebound relationship.


The second problem is you seem to have put all your hopes on this one guy because of a few fabulous months. You need to get a grip and stop acting like there's a fire.


He's not the only guy out there. Back off, stop contacting him, and wait for him to contact you.

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Backing off includes your passive aggressive facebook posts to each other. He is obviously enjoying the company of one girl while he is with her and saving you for Uni.

This whole thing seems like a mess and you starting arguments over his facebook posts are just pushing him away. Ignore them. Enjoy your time away and if he wants to get in contact when Uni starts then let him, don't be the first one.

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