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'Cringiest' thing you have ever said to an ex.


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Sometimes I feel like we could use a bit of a laugh here and equally sometimes it's ok to laugh at yourself too.

 

So what is the most cringey/embarrassing thing you have ever said/messaged an ex? The kind of thing that has a habit of waking you up the millisecond before you float to sleep and causes you to squirm and scream 'its burns!!!' (We all know what I am talking about).

 

Here's one of mine. This is one of the last things I said to my ex before NC at the beginning of December. It was part of a bigger message and oh Lord it was all bad but this was the worst bit, the finishing line (I deleted the message so trying to recall from memory) -

 

'Oh believe me you'll meet the real me some day soon and when you do it's going to hit you like a firecracker '

 

image removed

 

....yeeeeah it might have been 2am when I sent it and I may have been smashed at a club with some friends. I have NO idea what I was trying to do! Maybe be a bit flirty? When I woke up hungover the next morning and saw the message and that line I was mortified!!!

 

I ended up speaking to him one last time after that, just requesting him to please not speak to me and give me space and I had to make it as business like as possible to try and claw some integrity back haha.

 

So show the pain and joy right here.

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Um, "I hope when I rake my nails down someone else's back, you feel it." His reply, "Wow, you couldn't be more original?" My reply, "You're a @#$$$$" and his point was proven yet again. I still don't know whether to laugh or scream about that one.

 

It was then I learned that tequila and breakups are a very, very bad combo for me. Lil Sprout, at least yours was original and not a ripoff of some pop song. LOL

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I am sure I can think of many

 

'noone will love you like I did'

'you say the loss (our BU) is big but maybe you'll watch a film and grope someone else's boobs and forget about it'

 

to another guy

 

'I want to hurt you' (very drunk and I meant emotionally)

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Ho boy...

 

Well, let's see. There was the initial barrage of text messages that I sent the day after she broke up with me and left me in the apartment all alone. Then there was me throwing a jar of peanut butter in her direction (not at her - I would never lay a hand on or physically harm a woman) and calling her a not-so-nice word the moment she broke up with me. And then there was me begging her to give us another chance the day after.

 

Not my best moments, that's for damn sure. Love really does make you do stupid, crazy things.

 

Oh well...better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all...right?

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I'm kind of sad there hasn't been more responses to this thread, I was looking forward to it.

 

I posted some serious whoppers a few years ago of the crazy things you did post BU. I can't find that thread right now, but man some of that stuff was hilarious.

 

Anyhow, this is just ultra pathetic. Maybe 7 years ago or so, my ex was breaking up with me. Previous months before, we had a huge disagreement about privacy invasion(from him) and I didn't see him for a week. He wrote me this cheese filled love letter about walking through the fiery depths of hell and burning coals and all this theatrical nonsense.

 

So when he was breaking up with me, I actually fell on my knees and begged him not to. When he walked out the door, I was grabbing his knee like a toddler with my arms wrapped around it saying, "WHAT ABOUT THE FIERY DEPTHS OF HELL? WHAT ABOUT WALKING ON BURNT COALS, MOFO??" Crying, snorting screaming and swearing. Oh god, there was a neighbor out there, too. I want to hide under a rock when I think about it.

 

Then I recall another time I was trying to be really smooth and indifferent acting, you know giving the guy the unaffected stare, I remember the whole time I was thinking of effective things I could say that could really demonstrate I didn't give a damn. Can't remember what I came up with, but I remember feeling terribly proud and triumphant, went to coolly turn on my heel, twisted my ankle and fell down. There went the facade, that really hurt. lol.

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So when he was breaking up with me, I actually fell on my knees and begged him not to. When he walked out the door, I was grabbing his knee like a toddler with my arms wrapped around it saying, "WHAT ABOUT THE FIERY DEPTHS OF HELL? WHAT ABOUT WALKING ON BURNT COALS, MOFO??" Crying, snorting screaming and swearing. Oh god, there was a neighbor out there, too. I want to hide under a rock when I think about it.

 

The night she broke up with me (when I threw a jar of peanut butter at her and called her every name in the book), I was too numb. The night after I tried to talk with her...it was more of a proper breakup conversation as opposed to the first night where she just dumped me and walked away and wouldn't really talk to me. The reality of the situation began to set in...and I may have done something somewhat similar to what you did. I literally could not breath...I couldn't even stand lol.

 

Fun, fun times! Sometimes I wonder what the point of it all is.

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I'm laughing at your "weapon" of choice. It's always something odd like that, isn't it...Peanut butter...A bottle of vitamins...A bag of doritos, lol.

 

I found that thread! This will make you feel better about your misdeeds of the past.

 

 

Well, I was watching tv, eating peanut butter and toast and minding my own business before it all happened. That was the only weapon I had available in arm's reach (pretty sure it was Skippy reduced fat peanut butter - hehe). But again, I aimed it such that she got the point, but where it wasn't gonna hit her. LOL.

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Um, "I hope when I rake my nails down someone else's back, you feel it." His reply, "Wow, you couldn't be more original?" My reply, "You're a @#$$$$" and his point was proven yet again. I still don't know whether to laugh or scream about that one.

 

It was then I learned that tequila and breakups are a very, very bad combo for me. Lil Sprout, at least yours was original and not a ripoff of some pop song. LOL

 

lol. Good one!

 

On topic. I may have said things along the lines of 'you will regret this' and throw a pillow on the floor and screamed.. I also totally freaked out at her becoming facebook friends with a hot lesbian.. Embarrassing.

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Awesome thread!!

Craziest I told an ex I wanted every single picture back that he had of me (pre-cell phone pics...when we used to print them out!)....I gave him a time and date that I wanted every single picture on my doorstep and he delivered. I was sooooooo insulted that he didn't keep any pictures (which I had told him not to), that I drove all the way back to his place and put them on his doorstep with a note "f*$#& you!". He must've been like ?! That makes me LMAO every time I think of it

Meanest told a guy his ego is so massive that I had to fake orgasms since he can't take being anything but a king in the sack and that sadly, that's all he has to offer (all true, but didn't have to "go there")

Thing I was thinking but didn't say my ex husband who cheated on me multiple times has had THREE girlfriends since we got divorced a year ago. The most recent one bought my daughter like 10 new outfits and some of them are 5T (she wears 4T) and I almost said "that was nice of her...especially since she'll be long gone before (daughter) is in a 5T."

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Craziest: I told an ex I wanted every single picture back that he had of me (pre-cell phone pics...when we used to print them out!)....I gave him a time and date that I wanted every single picture on my doorstep and he delivered. I was sooooooo insulted that he didn't keep any pictures (which I had told him not to), that I drove all the way back to his place and put them on his doorstep with a note "f*$#& you!". He must've been like ?! That makes me LMAO every time I think of it

 

LOL! This made me really laugh.

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"WHAT ABOUT THE FIERY DEPTHS OF HELL? WHAT ABOUT WALKING ON BURNT COALS, MOFO??

 

It's always something odd like that, isn't it...Peanut butter...A bottle of vitamins...A bag of doritos, lol.

 

Craziest: I told an ex I wanted every single picture back that he had of me (pre-cell phone pics...when we used to print them out!)....I gave him a time and date that I wanted every single picture on my doorstep and he delivered. I was sooooooo insulted that he didn't keep any pictures (which I had told him not to), that I drove all the way back to his place and put them on his doorstep with a note "f*$#& you!". He must've been like ?! That makes me LMAO every time I think of it

 

Too funny ! ! !

 

I really feel I should have more..I felt like begging once too, man..what a horrible feeling. Truth is I rehearse a lot of evil but I am too proud I have never begged or done anything too pathetic, the anger and despair just fester into a mental illness.

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It was less the things I said and more what I did....Like I would send 'accidental' texts that were flirtatious in nature so they would think I had been out with someone else. I wonder if they bought it. LOL. I would have never, but I'm guilty of it so of course I wouldn't.

 

I think I posted this on the other one, but....One of my exes wanted a break. Yet he would not put a time frame on anything, he was just breaking up with me and I refused to accept it. I got really fired up and feverishly googled all day long on how breaks should be properly constructed...And I typed up a long document and emailed it to him, with all these excerpts from articles! He finally just lost it and was like "I'm breaking up with you, damn it! Are you dense?" Ugh.

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Well the weirdest thing i did was send my ex a picture of my cat wearing a party hat on her birthday, there was no message attached but i know she loves cats so i for some reason thought it was a good idea.

 

Haha, this definitely made me laugh. I think the worst thing I ever did was lie to her (and myself) and tell her she was my best friend and basically that I would move mountains to be with her again, all while knowing I didn't mean any of it. That's how you know she's not the one boys.

 

Even though I wanted her back, I knew I was lying to myself saying those things. I didn't want to marry her and be with her like I said, I just didn't want to be alone.

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Now, this was back in early college days...

 

But I waited up on a service road above the ex's townhouse parking area (woodsy) and left a heartfelt note on his windshield that ranged the gamut from "how could you do this to me after you talked me into falling for you???" to "you said you'd leave me when hell froze over - have a popsicle and think of me you *&^%$$!!!" Filled with pages of how I still loved him *gag* and would do anything for him, blah blah yuck.

 

I think of sitting for hours sobbing to put that on his car and still close my eyes and cringe in shame. It adds perspective to think - I did this multiple times, and we ended up back together for another 2 years -_-;;;; I should've just glued astroturf on my body, stamped "Welcome" on it, and been done with it.

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Suddenly, I don't feel so alone.

 

Mine wasn't too embarrassing, but I did send one ex a text a day or two after we ended things, saying something like "I think it would be a shame to not give this a chance, blah, blah, blah" (I can't remember the rest, but it was fairly lengthy. He didn't respond. Then, not TOO long after -- a few days, maybe -- I called and left him a message asking him to call me back. He did, and I asked him "Are you sure this is what you want? Are you sure you don't want to see me again?" He "gave in" and said we could continue to see each other; I went to visit my family for Christmas shortly thereafter, and the whole time I was away, we only talked on the phone once or twice and texted a few times here and there. I just KNEW it was over -- I knew in my heart he really didn't want to keep the relationship going. Sure enough, when I got back from being out of town, he asked me to meet him for lunch, and I knew. We talked for hours in the car, and he said he needed to stick with his first decision -- that we shouldn't date anymore. I was calm. I told him that if that was his decision, I had to accept it. Of course, I didn't accept it on the inside, but...I pretended. This was only the beginning, though. Over the next 4 1/2 years or so, he came back and walked away several more times, and while I never *said* anything all that embarrassing, just the fact that I kept giving him chance after chance to hurt me is humiliating enough. Thankfully, that time has passed and is just a memory now!

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Arg, I sent my ex a copy of the novel I'd written - I was going to give it to her for our third anniversary, but we never got that far...

The dedication in the novel said 'No matter what our future, I will always love you'.

 

A week later I found out the full story of the breakup - that she'd been cheating on me and that she was now dating the other guy.

 

She kept the book...

 

"Keep a hold of my ring, ive always wanted to be burried with it" ...

 

"We should ...yknow....one last time...."

 

"Do I have a STI from that slag?!"

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"We should ...yknow....one last time...."

 

I almost went down this road with my ex. She turned me down the one time we met up post breakup (before NC started) because flo was in town...but she said she wanted to "have fun." I ultimately never followed up because I knew it would've been too painful.

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