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why does my ex keep telling me about girls asking him out??


issy12

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My ex and I still regularly hang out together, do all the same things we used to when we were together but just aren't together...if that makes sense? And every so often he'l drop into conversation his brother wants to set him up with a friend of his...or he'l say..

 

'we can't keep seeing each other, its stopping us from seeing other people...i'm not going out with anyone, are you? I don't mean right now though we have to stop seeing each other'...

 

Then there's a silence between us like he's trying to gauge my reaction. Can anyone shed light on this? We're both busy this week but he said he'd try to make time...and then if for some reason I can't see him on any particular day I get all these unhappy faces in the texts...?

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Can anyone shed light on this?
Yes you're both too weak to actually let one another go. Why would you stagnate one another into finding people that actually want to be more then your current, demoted state of "just friends?"

 

Stop all contact, take the time to actually GET OVER HIM and then put yourself out there to be pursued and to pursue. Right now this "thing" you two have going is just codependent nonsense if the 9th degree.

 

Harsh but true alert and STOP thinking that the little crumbs he's dropping to you (like sad emos) is him wanting to be your boyfriend of the romantic kind again. It means squat if he's not asking you to be his boyfriend, besides why would he ask you if he's not even missing you in the least since you're always there for him??? Think about it.

 

All this is is fear of letting go for good, habit of having one another in your lives and immaturity about relationship and what they entail in general.

 

You deserve better then going through your dating life wondering if he wants you for more then an emotional crutch because he's too weak to actually let you go and get on with his life.

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My ex and I still regularly hang out together, do all the same things we used to when we were together but just aren't together...if that makes sense? And every so often he'l drop into conversation his brother wants to set him up with a friend of his...or he'l say..

 

'we can't keep seeing each other, its stopping us from seeing other people...i'm not going out with anyone, are you? I don't mean right now though we have to stop seeing each other'...

 

Then there's a silence between us like he's trying to gauge my reaction. Can anyone shed light on this? We're both busy this week but he said he'd try to make time...and then if for some reason I can't see him on any particular day I get all these unhappy faces in the texts...?

 

He misses your companionship same as you probably do his. I think he wants to see if him talking about dating makes you jealous, because you being jealous probably secretly makes him thrilled and feeling wanted and loved still.

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He misses your companionship same as you probably do his. I think he wants to see if him talking about dating makes you jealous, because you being jealous probably secretly makes him thrilled and feeling wanted and loved still.

 

This is the guess of someone who is projecting her own wishes onto you. Don't EVER assume that someone wants you back. If they aren't asking you back, then they don't want you in that way. Hoping or thinking that what he's saying means anything other then he's treating you like he would any other friend will just stagnate you into moving on and finding a good man that you don't have to guess about because his actions will match his words that show you how he values you.

 

Logic dictates: how could he be missing you when you're often in his company? If he's "thrilled" that you're jealous then you wouldn't want someone that takes pleasure from your misery.

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To me it does sound like he is deliberately trying to push her jealousy buttons to look for any reaction she still wants him I had some exes do that too. I think they do it because they know how to push the exact buttons that shows your feelings because of having been close and intimate with you. She should just confront her ex and ask him why he does it and see what he says hoping he will be truthful when asked.

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To me it does sound like he is deliberately trying to push her jealousy buttons to look for any reaction she still wants him I had some exes do that too. I think they do it because they know how to push the exact buttons that shows your feelings because of having been close and intimate with you. She should just confront her ex and ask him why he does it and see what he says hoping he will be truthful when asked.

 

You know what? If you stop talking to your ex's altogether and stop being codependent to the point that you allow them to "push your buttons" then they would not be able to push said buttons at all.

 

Zero contact is the way for both you and the Op to go at this point. You both are clinging to hope that an ex still wants you. That is my advise. It's proven to get you past the addiction of having one another in your life. If he wants her, (you) he knows where to find you/her. You/she should only let them back in if they say outright to you "I've made a mistake and I want you back, will you take another chance on me." Then "hope" and "conjecture" and "confusion" is no longer in play and you can get on with your life together (if he puts himself out there) or you an get on with your life without him if he can't be bothered to want to really be with you again.

 

If you've done this unhealthy game of being off and on with one another more then once then it's natures way of telling to stop torturing yourself, things are never going to get better with this person and to stop the insanity.

 

Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is You (the general you) not learning any lessons and continuing on in your mis-adventures. It's unhealthy.

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Can anyone shed light on this?
Yes, he can. Whether he wants to get back together with you and is trying to gauge your reaction. Whether he's trying to hurt you or make you jealous or just wants your take on it as his friend, only he knows.

 

But I do agree with some of the others. He's your ex. It didn't work. Unless the reasons you broke up have changed, what's the point of sticking around with someone you know there's no future with? It's only going to stop you (or slow you down) from being in other relationships.

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why does my ex keep telling me about girls asking him out??

 

Because you let him and it's a way for him to let you know, you aren't his only option. He's also likely trying to ease you into the idea that sooner or later he will go out with some other girl since you two are just friends now. Either be totally 1,000 percent cool with that and able to tell him about the guys interested in you or end the friendship, because it's not healthy if you aren't really just friends.

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