Can we be honest, ever???

[melikuchelly]

Growing up with a very manipulative mother, I became the polar opposite. I think life is too short to beat around the bush. Just say what you want and don't play games. To me it is a huge insult to my intelligence.

 

I just had a situation where my in-laws wanted me to go to my sister-in-laws house when I thought I was getting ready to go shopping. No one had even mentioned going to her house. I just thought we had made plans to go shopping. A few people asked me if I was going to her house, I said "no, we are going shopping". After that, I began to feel something was up. Finally my nephew arrives an hour late and says "Oh, it's too late and it is foggy outside. We will go tomorrow. You can go to sister-in-law's house." That was the plan all along. Steam rising off my head, I just left the room. Why did they go thru the whole thing of telling me I was going shopping (where I wanted to go) just to get me to her house. I am not a child.

 

I don't know what upsets me more, the fact that think this is the best way to deal with people in life or the fact that they think I am stupid enough to fall for it. Then I get upset with myself for thinking that other people will be like me and you can take their words at face value. It doesn't help that I have a habit of black and white thinking. So you're either honest or a liar. And if you're wondering, I don't have friends. Not that I can't make any, I just can't relate to others.

 

Are there other's like me??

[Seraphim]

Just realize that black-and-white thinking is sometimes not the healthiest. It is a reaction and a lot of time an over reaction to something that happened in our life. In a lot of things there are shades of grey. Black-and-white thinking leads to its my way or the highway.

[savignon]

Is it possible they find you hard to talk to or would think you wouldn't go to sister in laws house without some dramatic ploy? I agree it doesn't make much sense not to just ask you in the first place. At the same time, I wouldn't assume anyone thinks you're stupid or is trying to take advantage of you...they probably just have their own agenda (like you).