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Hi,

 

I broke up with my ex girlfriend of 5 years around 9 months ago. We were in a long distance relationship.

 

Our relationship started going stale, I found myself under a lot of stress due to job hunting and consequently found myself neglecting and taking things out on my girlfriend. I did the dumping, although it was fairly mutual in the end as she was having doubts.

 

Anyway, 2 months into the break up we started communicating again and she invited me to meet up for a day. The day went well, we met up as friends and had a great laugh. Half way through the day she completely caught me off guard and said she had been missing me. She gave me a long hug and we shared a romantic kiss. Afterwards I went into melt down, wondering if she wanted to get back together! I lost my cool and became clingy, asking her if she wanted to get back together. She backed off and I had to cut contact once more.

 

So, more months pass, I miss her loads but accept I may never speak to her again. But then Christmas comes round and she sends me a Christmas card saying she'd been missing me and she hoped to hear from me soon. After Christmas I drop her a call, we spoke for 2 hours. The conversation was brilliant, full of laughs. She mentioned how good we were together and how similar our personalities are (despite refuting this before our break up) and she even said our first date was her happiest memory!

 

After the call, I continue on, not expecting anything more. However, New Years comes round and she wishes me "Happy New Year you babe xxx". Since then we have texted every week. However I sometimes find myself confused. Its great talking to her but sometimes she will drift off half way through a conversation and reply a day or two later. She has said on occasions that shes busy with Uni work, but it only takes a minute to reply.

 

She also started sending me snapchats, on occasions we have snapchatted back and forth but the other night she sent one of herself looking dolled up. I sent her a text saying her dress was cute and asked her about her uni work which she said she wanted to show me. However she didn't reply, but the next day sent me a pointless message on spotify. Is this some kind of mind game, is she using me for some kind of ego boost? or could she be testing the waters? I know her so well and don't like to think she would be using me, but I'm quite keen on pursuing her and want to know if your thoughts on my situation. I have been very conscious of the compliments I pay her and how much I contact her as I don't want to come accross clingy.

 

Your thoughts would be very much appreciated!

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Yes...walking out of it and into YOUR future where you will meet someone else.

I have never seen a relationship die of stale/inattentive behavior.get back together.

If it wasn't worth it the first time around....it won't work on round #2.

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Tell her you met someone and interested and then disappear for a while or be short with your replies. She will blow a gasket out of jealousy. Then she will start to see you as desirable.

 

Really bad advice. This isn't a game....and people are not fond of being manipulated.

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  • 1 month later...

Just a guess:

 

I have the impression that she still has feelings for you but, your the one that dumped her and she is trying to play it safe. This pattern of behavior is by trying to test the water and if you might still have serious feelings for her. I think she trying for you to chase her, instead of showing her vulnerable side for self protection when you might (in her mind) reject her.

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