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Going out with my friend, his girlfriend, and her friend


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I'm about to turn 26. Tomorrow night (or I guess tonight now) me and a friend are going downtown and meeting up with his girlfriend, and she will be with a friend or a group of friends. Anyway, I think one of the friends is supposed to be for me to get to know. I am pretty shy when I first meet people so I am kind of nervous. We went to the same high school, but she is a couple years ahead of me so I didn't really know her, but she was friends with my brother so I know who she is.


I am really bad at talking to girls in public, or in front of my friends. I guess I don't want to look dumb hitting on a girl in front of them. I have always been this way, and thus, I have never had a girlfriend. I've never been on a real date either, so this "meetup" will be the closest thing I've actually had to a date to date. I'm a completely normal guy: I have a lot of friends and girl-friends (great at putting myself in the friend zone), good-looking; I am just too shy with girls.


I guess what I'm asking is how should I treat the situation, and what should I talk about? I am very self-conscious about my relationship experience and do not want that coming up at all, so how can I avoid that or derail it if the topic comes up?


Thanks in advance!

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Just treat her like a friend. Like she's someone you already know, and who knows you too. Don't worry about impressing her, just be the friendliest version of yourself that you can be, while acting natural and not overdoing it.


Try and get it in your head that she's "just one of the guys" (while still staying tasteful of course), and it might be easier to not get so nervous around her. After all, she's just another person like you.


Once you've gotten her to feel comfortable with you, providing you're attracted to her, try some light physical contact like touching her hand in passing, sitting close to her etc. Just don't escalate to that level if she doesn't seem ready.


For all we know, she might be a completely unpleasant person and shut you down no matter what you do, so go in with a positive attitude and just treat her like you've been friends for years.

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