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Help!!! Im struggling! Need you guys! Please respond!


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It's been 3 months since me and my ex broke up after 4 years and 1 full month no contact. We saw each other on Dec. 13 to exchange somethings that we had of each other where after me pretty much begging to get back with her she said no. She left and I ended up in the ER after having an anxiety attack and was given pills to relax, which i've only taken 2 since. Although it has been better then the first month, I still always constantly think about her. There isn't one thing that doesn't remind me of her. The hardest part for me is that we were each others only real friends, we would admit that to each other when we were together. Since we've broken up she turned 21 and has made tons of new friends and is going out from what I hear from other people (which I am happy about). I am still young at 20, but am having trouble making new friends because I am constantly thinking about her and people just see a depressed guy when they talk to me. I wanna get over her and be happy again. I have no idea how...Im literally starting from scratch. I really feel the loneliest i've ever felt in my life and I wanna get out of this. PLEASE HELP!!

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Hi Mike,

 

Yes, loss of one you came to love is VERY hard to accept.. for a long while.

I'm sorry for your pains. It'll take time.. months, possibly, to get over a loss like this. You'll have many deep emotions, like I'm sure you're aware of already. The sadness, lonliness, denial, heartache, anxiety. And it's all just awful!

 

In order for YOU to work on accepting & healing from this, it's often mentioned to NOT deal with her at all anymore. Often easier said than done, because they're like a 'drug' and we have to wean ourselves off of them and it can take time and a lot of tears...etc.

 

I am on Cipralex for my anxiety. I am on month 9 from a 5 yr relationship. Iknow how you feel...As well, i am going to therapy to help deal with my loss. It hit me very hard.

 

Take this one day at a time.. and in time things will slowly ease off. The tears.. the lost, lonely feelings etc.

I still have my sadness from my loss.. the memories.. missing him, etc. It is far from easy.. but we have no choice.

 

As you deal with this... why dont you get a journal going on all you want to say.. vent etc. but to not send her way.

Sometimes things like this can help us 'let it out' in another way.

 

But best it NOT to do any further contact. Dont text, email, call.. nothing. In order for you to work on healing now.

Less contact the better.

 

One day at a time... stick it out here, with us.

You're not alone.

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Hey man, I know how you're feeling, it's awful to think about these things. My counsellor gave me a good exercise to do to help with anxiety. Basically, once per day sit down alone with a diary and just start brainstorming everything that is going through your head. Proper brainstorming, all over the place sort of stuff. It's ok to cry during this, I usually do. Do this for a maximum of fifty minutes, then close the book.

 

Then for the rest of the day, whenever you start thinking about it, just imagine shutting that book, shutting off those thoughts, closing them down.

 

This is all that is getting me off the couch each day

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Break ups are the toughest thing in the world, because love is the most wonderful thing in the world. Stay positive. Some days are easier then others, and you will have relapses, it's all part of the healing process. Like the above comment, I do a LOT of writing. About everything. Otherwise it keeps going through my mind. Sad angry lonely I righting all down, so it's out of my Mind the I move on with the rest of my day. And surprisingly enough I do feel better once have written and folded the paper. You can't control her actions but you can control your attitude towards it, it's ok to have low moments just don't dwell, you either make yourself miserable or you make yourself strong, the same amount of effort goes into it. You'll get through this!!

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^ Agreed -- hard exercise, every day, is proven to be just as effective on mild depression as prescription meds!

 

It'll help with your anxiety, too. But you can also take safe herbal supplements for anxiety -- Google "valerian", people have been using it for over a hundred years to relax and also for help sleeping.

 

You're only a few months into your breakup -- and only ONE month without contact -- so of course you're going through the roughest part of the breakup right now. What you're going through is perfectly normal! Many people feel lost and alone after a breakup, it's not uncommon. But in time, you'll be able to establish new friendships -- and probably renew some old ones, too.

 

It's a cliche that time heals all wounds, but in this case it really is true.

 

Here's a guide that will help you: link removed

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