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wiser and stronger


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It may have been recent.. only a month and a half. But through this experience, I've learned a lot. Especially what not to do. I did everything that you should never do when going through a break up. I begged and pleaded for weeks for him to take me back. To give us a second chance, and start over. I pushed him away.. forever maybe. I can't really blame myself. He was my first. My first boyfriend. My first love. My first heartbreak. At the time, I didn't know any better. Didn't know that there were rules to a break up. I made mistakes. But everyone does. We are after all, only human.

 

I let myself go after the break up. Let my emotions rule me. Doing things I have never done before in my life. Essentially, I let him win. I let him break me down, lower my self esteem, and take away the confidence I once held. But never again. I am stronger than this! I am stronger than him! And that is the truth of the matter. I wasn't the one that just checked out of a relationship. That gave up on love, and walked out. He couldn't see what he had. Couldn't appreciate me or our relationship. That's his mistake.

 

Now I know better. If this ever happens to me again, I will accept it, and walk away with my dignity intact. Because any person that can't see what they have and walks away from it, isn't worth fighting over. It's my time now. To slowly heal and become the strong, confident woman I once was. It will take time, but I know I will be okay.

 

Do I regret anything? No. Do I hate him? No. In a way, he will always have a place in my heart. He was my first love, after all. I will take my experience with him and learn. Grow.

 

As my mom says, "sometimes you have to go through a few ***holes and heartbreaks to find the one that is right for you."

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