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I don't know whats going on with my ex.


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Hi all. Quick recap: Me and my ex were together 8+ years, lived together for 7. He cheated on me and left me for a much older woman who was in a relationship as well and has a child. The BU happened in September, been NC since November, apart from a Christmas text.

 

Over a week ago I had a really weak moment, I was feeling pretty down and text him. It was a friendly text saying Happy New Year and asking how he was. I also told him about my new job on Monday. He didn't reply and I regretted it after sending it to him.

 

Then I noticed a few things happening on his fb. He changed his cover photo to my favourite type of dog a few days ago. Then today he posted a picture related to an huge interest of mine. I started to begin thinking he is sending subliminal messages. But I shrugged it off. If he really wanted to speak to me then he knows my number.

 

Then....he sent a text a few hours later. He replied to my message I sent over a week ago. He send a hugeee text with lots of questions about my new year, university and asking me how I was. He also said if its okay with me he would call me after my first day at my new job to see how it went and to catch up.

 

I haven't decided to reply to his text or not.

 

....Where did all of this come from?!

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You are paying way to much attention to him. You are hyperfocusing on his every action and trying to interpret it as "Subliminal messages".

 

More than likely he is just trying to suck you back in. He cheated on you. Have some self respect and put a man who would do that to you after 8 years out of your life for good.

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You need to stop stalking your ex's Facebook page and reading signs where there aren't any except that he's banking on the fact that you're still checking up on him. Where it's coming from is the newness of the relationship he left you for has worn off and since he's a cheater to begin with he's now hoping he can cheat on her, with you. I can say this with some confidence having seen just this type of scenario repeated over and over and over ad infinitum both to myself and friends and people posting on this and other forums. Sorry, I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. Forget him, don't respond and go back to NC is my advice. And block his page and everything else already and focus on your life since that just keeps you from moving on. Unless that text specifically said he wants you back, and you two are going to couples therapy to work out how he's never going to cheat again, then he's just fishing for a booty call and/or ego boost.

 

Besides do you really want a guy back who was so slimy he left you for a married woman with a kid???? This is one of those people who doesn't even have a moral compass to begin with, to do something like that. You deserve so much more, you know.

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The scumbags that walk in this world... together for 8 years and not even had the decency to communicate problems or a clean break up with you. I'm always surprised with the things people we thought we knew, can do to us.

 

I would take these actions from him to boost my ego and self esteem in the path towards healing. Think, he cheated and dumped you, now is trying to get back at you?? Now you have the upper hand. Use that to stay strong.

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