Jump to content

Is the tme we spend together Co-dependent/excessive?


penelope1978

Recommended Posts

Hello

 

I'm worried i will ruin my relationship spending too much time together.

We have been together 18 months and living together for one year.

We see each other everyday. We both work full-time hours. My boyfriend will do extra hours on a monday evening and come home at 7 pm rather than 5 pm.

On a Tuesday we are both home 5.30-6 pm.

On a wednesday I go jogging/gym with my friend and come home 7-8 pm. My boyfriend has his son.

On a Thursday I am usually visiting a friend/seeing mum after work and get home 6.30 pm ish.

On a Friday we are both home 5.30 pm.

On a Saturday my boyfriend goes to work in the morning from 7 am till 12 pm and sees his dad for an hour and comes home at 1 pm. I will sometimes go and get jobs done/visit a friend in the afternoon and come home at 4-5 pm ish. His son comes over on saturday at 1pm.

Saturday evening I usually spend time with both my boyfriend and his son. Then all day sunday and sunday evening. Sometimes (very rarely - like once every two months) I will go out on a saturday night with friends.

 

In two weeks I am going on a hen weekend and will be away from Friday to Sunday.

 

Is the time I have mentioned excessive? Even if we are in the house together, we're not always in the same room - i might be on the computer in one room and he might be painting in another.

what do you think? Will this amount of time together spoil the relationship which is going really well so far.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He tends to just hangout with his son and sometimes sess his family. He was never sociable when I met him saying all his friends are married/moved away.

I have four friends I visit on a regular basis. One I get together with once a month, one every week to do exercise activities and another one I see once a month.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Relationships can get unhealthy if either of you depends on the other for more than 50% of your emotional interactions. The rest can come from friends, colleagues, neighbours, whoever. It's just that if one person really dominates your world then it can cause all sorts of problems - e.g. feeling overwhelmed, or abandoned when they're not there; afraid to be fully yourself in case you upset them; leading a restrictive lifestyle if your partner doesn't share your interests; and, of course, the risk of controlling or being controlled. The latter is why abusers will try to isolate their victims from their support networks.

 

It's not so much the amount of time you spend together, too, as the quality of time. If you spend too much time together, your interactions can get shallow and superficial as you're not bring much into the relationship from the outside. The more 'separate' you can be, the more 'together' you can be, too, if it's a genuinely loving relationship.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sounds like you are trying to create an issue where there is none. You live together, so when you come home you are going to be together. That's not being co-dependent, that's living together. Are you bored? If so, don't look for trouble in your relationship, look to do fun things and get out of the routine you are in. Whether that involves making new friends, finding a new hobby either for yourself or together, etc. Other than that, it sounds like you are in a normal relationship and you two are not climbing in each others space all the time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...