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Feeling down today


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Guess I'm just looking to vent / get support, not sure really, but it's been a while since I've felt DOWN with that gaping hole feeling in the chest.

 

I slept like crud today, had a dream about the ex and that really didn't help me any. I woke up feeling a bit meh, but I went to the bathroom to find a zit on my nose, I look like Rudolph and I couldn't help but laugh, it cheered me up plenty and I went out in to the world with a smile.

 

I then went with a few friends to go buy clothes, had lots of laughs and a good time, we then had lunch at an Italian restaurant at which point I ran into someone who looked a lot like my ex (but it wasn't her) I couldn't help but look at her from time to time.

 

Now I'm home, feeling a bit like crud... When I feel this way the questions just resurface: the whys, the what ifs, and the longing for her...

 

I know this too will pass but grrr

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Those dreams really make it harder, I have them too. All mornings for me are the worst. I wake up, reality hits me that she is no longer with me, and then the day has already started on a bad note. I will be so happy when this constant depressive mood would just disappear one day..

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Ive heard if you dont think about your ex before you sleep you wont dream about them. I think it might work actually but its pretty hard not to think about them before you go to sleep. I also had a dream about my ex last night and then a dream about me telling my friend about the dream and crying.its the worst feeling when you dream youre back together then you wake up. I really hate it. It makes reality look crap

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Ive heard if you dont think about your ex before you sleep you wont dream about them. I think it might work actually but its pretty hard not to think about them before you go to sleep. I also had a dream about my ex last night and then a dream about me telling my friend about the dream and crying.its the worst feeling when you dream youre back together then you wake up. I really hate it. It makes reality look crap

 

Lately she's been on my mind a little more than usual, not sure I can say why but it just is. I didn't expect it considering it's 9 months out but from the wisdom spread here I've gathered this can't be rushed and it comes in waves.

 

It's more than likely I'm a slow healer but that's ok. My therapist noticed this months ago: I have a hard time letting things go if they make a huge impact on me because I'm used to things going my way usually, either because things play out that way or because with enough perseverance things work that way.

 

I've been pretty busy working today and learning some new technologies for my upcoming job so that kept me occupied and now I'm going to go have some quality family time, laughing is great medicine. Hopefully tomorrow is better or back to what it was a few days ago!

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