Have a view on how to go about this? Thank you.

[LAFreeway]

I have been talking to a girl for over a month, we met over the internet (not a dating site) and really hit it off as friends altough i did keep myself out of the friend zone with a little flirting here and there, talking in paragraphs to each other and she even called me a couple of times. We finally met one night about two weeks ago, we were to hang out and have a fire and drink a little shoot our guns and have a good time. We ended up having a great time and even slept together. The next day she explained she has never went that fast with someone and did not expect that, even though she did want it to happen, i agreed and we left it at that, everything was fine. We still talk over text a good deal, not quite as much because we started back to college and have both been very busy. But she seems a little distant, like not texting me as often as she would and it's been two weeks and she still has not called me. I mean she is genuinly busy i assure you this girl is not playing games. and i have called her once and she missed the call and text me later saying sorry she missed my call and we went about talking though text again.

 

What i need some advice and support with is that how do I approach a girl who we started being friends, it led to more very quickly, but has kind of chilled out and she said she wants to move very slowly. Should i and if i should how do i ask to see her again without pushing anything on her, should i tell her she can call me or do i just leave it alone.. what do i do. I would like to pursue a possible future relationship with her if it happens to work out, I at least would like to date her and get to know her more. I am just a little confused.. idk.

[shellyf62]

Is she still with her bf?

[LAFreeway]

I don't know yet... but im thinking ahead here. Obviously I'm not going to make any moves until he is out of the picture... but i would like advice on this topic above ^^^ without all of the unnecessary b.s. thanks

[HeartGoesOn]

I think Shelly asked you a simple question in order to offer constructive advice.

[shellyf62]

Thanks Heart.

OP has posted a lot about this girl, and the bf seems to still be around.

He isn't listening to any of the advise he is given, so I am not going to bother.

I'll take my B.S elsewhere lol

[LAFreeway]

Shelly, you are so very wrong to do this on my post. I have taken everyone's advice from my previous posts. But, moving forward, I have specific questions and concerns that have nothing to do with her recently coming out of a relationship. I did'nt even mention it in this post specifically so to avoid comments that do not address my core questions.... It's very selfish of you to be like this to me.. I don't appreciate it.

[LAFreeway]

and, Heartgoeson, I'm sorry but i posted previous posts that I went into specific detail in. The comments stemming from my previous posts were just about how wrong she was for having a boyfriend and talking to me and how i cant trust her and so on and so forth, without any of them knowing this girl at all...

[shellyf62]

All I will say is good luck chasing her. You are going to need it.

 

I wont comment on any of your threads again, esp the ones you start about you two being a couple & her cheating on you.

 

Take care

[LAFreeway]

I'm not chasing her.. I'm letting things occur as naturally as possible. I honestly probably don't even need to be on this site and would probably be better if i wasnt thinking about the situation as much as I am. But it's nice to get advice on specific things i am interested in, however, let's say i do get with her and she cheats on me.. big f'in woop. I'm not going to cry a river. I know I'm taking a chance and I feel in my heart it's worth taking so stop bashing me about it already.

[LAFreeway]

Does ANYONE have some constructive advice on the original topic of this thread? It would be greatly appreciated.

[Rosti87]

She said she wants to slow it down. She has pulled away. Give her the space and let her make the contact. If that is the woman you want. Her actions does not indicate much interest at the moment. She may just want a friendship.

[LAFreeway]

Well, she still texts me and is genuinly busy otherwise. I am giving her space and letting her make the contact for sure. and she still contacts me.. Thank you, I put myself in a tough spot but she knows I don't want the friendzone and she has always made it clear, even blatant verbalization, that she is not going to put me there. idk, it's just confusing and overwhelming, that's why im taking a step back and asking for advice

[smallwords]

I think she's actually given you things to work with here, by saying that she wants to move slowly. If that is not deterring you, and as you said, you're not actually chasing her, I think you should just stop thinking too much and just be there (ie, be a friend). If I had told the guy I want to take things slow, and he's still asking me out and texting me all the time, I would go NC on him because it stresses me out, and trust me, that's not what you want.

 

When you think she's comfortable with you and open for more, I suppose you can suggest hanging out, grabbing coffee, etc.

 

Good luck!

[Rosti87]

Well, she still texts me and is genuinly busy otherwise. I am giving her space and letting her make the contact for sure. and she still contacts me.. Thank you, I put myself in a tough spot but she knows I don't want the friendzone and she has always made it clear, even blatant verbalization, that she is not going to put me there. idk, it's just confusing and overwhelming, that's why im taking a step back and asking for advice

 

Its confusing because she is in transition. She has or has not...(not clear0 just left a long term relationship. People usually are not ready for another serious relationship after just finishing one. You are probably going to be a transitional relationship if it ever even comes to that.

[SooSad33]

I say continue talking, as you have been. She may have back off a bit because of how fast it went & she's not ready? Want to take it slowly?

 

Give her time... take it slowly as asked, doesn't mean you have to drop off the map. Give her a day or so- if she doesnt contact you- you call or text her.

If she continue cold for a good amt of time, maybe she doesnt want to do this. Are u ready to accept as only friends?

[LAFreeway]

Right, I honestly think if there was no interest in things with me she would have just said it or at least made it clear in some way. This taking things slow is okay with me I'm just trying to get a grasp on what that means. It means a lot of patience and no pressure. I honestly have not asked to see her nor have I blown up her phone with texts or anything. I am currently trying very hard to stop thinking so much and just be there as a friend. I'm doing much better today with things as this comment really helped me. Thank you so very much. I'm glad I haven't bothered her or pushed anything. I'll see how things go.

[SooSad33]

Welcome, LA

 

Yes, well best you can do is take it slowly.. see how goes. good luck

 

tc

[LAFreeway]

I didn't contact her for two days and she text me last night. Talked for a little bit. She mentioned when she's not so busy she wants us to hang out again. I said yeah sounds good when we are not busy we can make plans. So she has genuinely been busy and I'm almost positive the boyfriend is out of the picture now. So I'm just being here being a friend for now like y'all said. Maybe in a couple of weekends we can see each other for a little bit. I'm not sure of what I will plan.. maybe something simple. Then we talked before about going to a comedy show on valentines day. Maybe I will pull that card after I see her next if it goes well. Still I'm not trying to push things. She just seemed interested when we talked about it before. I guess I was just waaaay over thinking and even still am stressing a bit. We talked a little this morning but when I asked how she was she hasn't answered all day lol. She is driving me crazy. Maybe doing it on purpose or really is that damn busy. I can't believe I feel like this about a girl. Haven't felt this way since Jr. High. Coming here and talking and the nice people on here who gave good advice have really helped me through this. If you all wouldn't mind still giving me your advice through this that would be awesome. And as always greatly appreciated. Thank you all.