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Anyone ever been in this position? Need advice, please!


outsideinside

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I met a guy at a party a while ago. We really clicked and exchanged information. Since then he came by to hang out twice - as friends. However, my failing relationship preceded all of this. We have chosen to take a break and evaluate how we feel as single individuals.

 

At the time when I met this guy I expressed openly at this party I was with someone (didn't need to involve randoms at a party in my drama). So when this guy and I hang out it's casual as he doesn't know yet that I am not in a relationship. I'm getting the impression this guy may not be very experienced with women. I'm not an arrogant person but I can tell he's attracted to me. He gets fidgety and kinda goofy when I'm close to him, makes subtle physical contact but avoids too much eye contact, etc. - lots of little clues. He hasn't done anything blatantly crossing the friendship line. I assume this is mainly because he thinks I'm with someone.

 

I'm wondering what you might think his original motive was - to be just strictly friends, or see where things go? Obviously you have little to go off of, but any input is helpful. Also, is he not showing more interest because he thinks I'm taken, or possibly because he's shy? I don't want to rush into anything with him but I do want to let him know I am not cheating on my ex and that I like him. Being a presumably less confident guy, how should I approach this? Again, I absolutely want to take things slow...not looking for a relationship any time soon. I am just very attracted to him and enjoy his company. How to approach this without seeming crazy? Thanks in advance for thoughtful input.

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Let him know, just as you would a friend, that you and your ex have broken up, it's for the best, and you are doing ok with it. Maybe try to get his opinion on something like "Hey what do you think about friending exes on facebook? Remember that guy I was seeing back when we met, well, he and I broke up. I'm in a good place now and I'm trying to decide whether to friend him."

 

If this guy is inexperienced, you may need to be the one to give him some really obvious "in's", but I think the first step is just letting him know that you're single.

 

Most guys I know wouldn't get a girl's number and hang out with her a few times if they were just interested in friendship... most likely the chemistry is mutual and he feels there is something there, but does not want to be presumptuous.

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