I told my GP about my abuse and now I'm really scared :(

[Muruluisku]

So, I went to see my GP and told her a little about me being sexually abused when I was little...

 

How do I know something really bad wont happen next cause I've told? The baddie said something REALLY BAD will happen if I ever told

 

The GP said she'll refer me to some assessment with a psychologist... That might mean telling some more and to somebody who won't be my therapist either but just an assessor.. I hate telling face to face and it makes me so scared afterwards.

 

She said I could go on antidepressants but I said no,I'm not depressed. She said I might feel worse when I start counselling and might need medication Is that true? I don't want to feel worse, I want to feel better ;(

 

[superfan]

NO matter what ANYBODY tells you, you did the RIGHT thing.

 

Your abuser told you these things to frighten you and to protect themselves. The only person that hurts in the end, is YOU. In order for you to fully heal and move on, you need to deal with what happened. You have made a good first step.

 

You don't necessarily HAVE to go on medication (and really, nobody can force you) but it would be good to receive counseling, or at the very least someone to talk to. Don't be afraid - that is just another way that he wins.

[Seraphim]

Darling nothing bad is going to happen. You did a VERY brave thing!! You made a step forewarn to getting better. Do you know how much courage that takes? Congrats to you!!! Getting therapy for sexual abuse is the best gift I have EVER given myself. And it will be for you too. Yes, initially it is very hard. And that stand to reason because you will be dealing with difficult issues. You have to get through hard and feeling uncomfortable to get to feeling better. I won't lie to you there. Some of it is very hard but once you come out the other side........ahhhhhh you feel SO MUCH BETTER!!!! So congrats to you for taking hold of your life!!!

[Selflove1]

You are so brave and strong. Every step you take to healing is an impressive one, it will be scary and you will feel a whole load of emotions but that is the process. Please try not to be scared of telling the right people, each person you confide in you are becoming stronger and battling to deal with this and I think that's great of you. Hugs x

[SooSad33]

Yes, you could and up with those 'memories' coming back to you (flashbacks) of your past and that could 'trigger' some results leading to depression.

It was a suggestion, so keep it in mind and when things get going, if you feel like you're getting really low & emotional etc, afterwards, then go talk to your physician.

 

Good luck.. you have done a good thing.

[shelty24]

The first few sessions will be difficult and yes it is possible you will start to feel worse before you begin to feel better. Facing this is very brave and its the first step to healing. Don't think about it-just do it. It will be good for you.

 

Btw if you are unhappy with your first therapist-don't give up. You can be referred to someone else if its not working for you.

 

Best of luck and well done

[Muruluisku]

Thank you all you wonderful people for listening and for explaining about the next step.

 

It was really hard to talk to her.. But it helped that I had written down the key things of what had happened to me, so I could show her when I lost my words..no detail though. I guess my GP saw how difficult it was for me, because she was really good and she said she can cut down the number of people I have to talk to by calling the IAPT assessment centre for me. She asked me questions that she needed to know for the telephone referral, mainly about how I'm coping now. She said to call our surgery in a week and she'll call me back and update what will happen next. She estimated it will probably take 2-4 weeks for the face to face assessment, where it'll be reviewed what type of therapy might be best for me.

 

Lovely Victoria... Thank you so much for your kind message *hug* You are really good with your words, they gave me hope and made me feel a bit better, less alone with this.

 

I'm so grateful for all of your support *safe hugs*

 

[Seraphim]

Anytime Darling! We are here anytime you need us.

[john45]

its a classic sexual abuse manipulation thing to be told that something really bad will happen if you ever tell

 

The first step is likely to be really bad. You've done that by talking to your doctor. Huge kudos to you.

The next step is likely to be scary also... talking to a counsellor or specialist in that area. There will be things that will get stirred up, as you talk about and perhaps re-awaken/revisit things that you experienced years ago.

 

It takes time to build up trust, especially if you've been abused. If you are seeing a good counsellor, hopefully you gradually build up a trusting relationship with them that is safe and where you feel ok to talk. if you have setbacks along the way, try to talk to your counsellor, or try to work out one or two other people you can talk to and feel safe with.

 

take care and best wishes.

[Muruluisku]

Thanks Victoria *safe hug*

 

And John, thanks for your advise about therapy ... It's good to know I'm not alone in this struggle... Got to say though I'm really dreading the assessment

 

I understand what you guys say about it having to hurt a bit before the wounds can heal, but I'm not sure if I can do it..yet. How do I know if I'm ready/strong enough/ won't fall into pieces completely in the healing process?

 

[Muruluisku]

So, my GP called me back this afternoon, and said my referral has been sorted. I should get a letter this week with date and time for the face to face assessment with a psychologist... Likely sometime in February.

 

I'm not sure how I'm feeling now.. Numb I guess. But after the assessment there will probably be another wait for the actual therapy to start anyway...probably even a bit longer wait, right?

 

[Seraphim]

It sounds like things are going well.