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Hey guys long time stalker of the forums. To sum up breakup story; ex gf breaksup with me via text message she tells me she lost the spark. I agree to the breakup. Two days after that she calls me to ask to be friends I told her that I didn't know and I ended the call with talk to you sometime. That was 6 months ago.

 

In that 6 months I have done strict no contact. I've only ran into her twice. The first time was a week after breakup she wouldnt look at me. Second time was a couple months after that I smiled at her and she gave me a mean look.

 

A few weeks after the mean look I heard she was wondering what I was up to. She made in direct contact by sending a pic of her self to my friend asking him to tell me she said hi. I ignored it.

 

During that time I started dating other women. One woman that I dated I heard my ex went around asking who she was. Definitely a confidence booster for me.

 

After that she started to date another guy. I didnt hear anything from her up until a month ago when that relationship ended. She called me and I ignored it.

 

So to make this shorter. I think its time to make contact with her. Im at a point where if she ignored my attempt to make contact I will be fine. I honestly could care less if she replies.

 

I know some people on here will ask why would I want to make contact and the answer is simple. I just want to catch up. If catching leads to getting back together thats great and if it doesn't even better because I know I can find other women.

 

I think I want to use text message as my method of contact with her. But im not sure what to send. Any recomendations on what I should send?

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You are bored and alone. There is nothing to be gained by contacting her.

Catch up on what? Picture this....

 

You meet at coffee shop/drinks. How you been? Fine.

You --- pretty good.

 

So.....have you been dating?

 

And then --- why did you break up over texts?

Why did you ignore me?

Why, why, why......

 

and one of you leaves pretty ticked off.

 

The end of your relationship was not dealt with respectfully. That is a hurdle that will need to be overcome....and honestly, why not start fresh with someone else?

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Contact her for what exactly? Catch up - please be honest with yourself, you are just bored and curious and in a temporary dry spell. All it will get you is ex drama and cost you your dignity and self respect. You've spent six months moving on and so keep on moving on. Find someone else to date and focus on that.

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Really, honestly? What IS the point?

 

You've been in strict no contact. You've been moving on, dating others. Why go back now?

 

Has your focus in NC been about contacting her when you feel the time is right? That isn't really what it is meant to be about.

 

If the relationship was meant to be it would be? If being in strict NC AND dating others hasn't left her wanting you back, why not continue moving forwards. As mhowe said, why not start afresh with someone else ... where there is no negative history or obstacles to face?

 

If you really couldn't care less if she replied, then you also wouldn't care less about contacting her. You would be indifferent to having contact with her. You also wouldn't have in mind about it "leading somewhere".

 

I don't think you are as ready to contact her as you think you are.

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You are bored and alone. There is nothing to be gained by contacting her.

Catch up on what? Picture this....

 

You meet at coffee shop/drinks. How you been? Fine.

You --- pretty good.

 

So.....have you been dating?

 

And then --- why did you break up over texts?

Why did you ignore me?

Why, why, why......

 

and one of you leaves pretty ticked off.

 

The end of your relationship was not dealt with respectfully. That is a hurdle that will need to be overcome....and honestly, why not start fresh with someone else?

 

In all honesty I have forgave her for the method of breakup she did. I know its not a good excuse but her granpa died the day she broke up with me and she claimed she wasnt thinking straight. I even got multiple apologies from her in the phone call. So to me its water under the bridge.

 

I wouldn't bring up the past relationship if we did meet some where. That relationship is dead no need to bring it up unless we start seeing each other more. But I doubt it would go that far.

 

I could start fresh with someone else but my ex has a benefit that other girls dont have. Shes best friends with my best friends girlfriend. I loved all us hanging out with double dates and stuff.

 

I'll admit it I am alone right now. Havent dated anyone for a month. I thought I would try to see where this would go. I know starting fresh would a be so much easier but im up for a challenge.

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If you couldnt care less if she replies, why bother even going there to begin with? Why dont you just keep going? Keep on your healing. Have NO More to do with her.

 

Do you feel you can handle any more wasted effort or hurt from her end?

 

Think about it...

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You just don't get back with someone because it was so cute to go out on double dates. Guess what, meet the right girl for yourself and you can go out on your double dates and all be friends, it just won't be your messy ex and your messy past.

 

Trying to hook back up with your ex just because you've had a dry month is just silly. She dumped you and she'll likely dump you again. It's been six months and she hasn't exactly been sitting on her behind pining for you. Life is too short to waste on getting into a mess with an ex. Besides, when you do that, the girl who is right for you will pass you by. No sane girl will get involved with a guy who is messing about with his ex.

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We have turned into such a throw away society. Haha. I understand what other posts are saying I think they just don't want you to get tangled into ex drama and hurt again but it's been 6 mos. You have done excellent with the strict NC but you know lots of couples have broken up and got back together and if you don't reciprocate her contact then you'll never know. If it turns out bad and she doesn't want you back then you'll know. If you want to get back together and she does too you'll be so glad you talked to her. If she doesn't want you back you'll know next time she calls that she's just trying to bait you without you catching anything and you can leave her be.

 

Go ahead and call her or wait until she calls again then pick up. Be happy and talk to her as a friend but don't talk too long. Tell her your running late and have to go. Then don't call her back, let her call you again.

 

Instead of just throwing something away I like to see if it's fixable first, then if it's not you can throw it away for good.

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Thanks everyone for your opinions. Like I said if she replies back to my attempt to make contact that's great and if she doesn't then I know it wasn't meant to be.

 

Here's some text I thought about sending:

 

"Hey! I heard Drunk on You by Luke Bryan last night. It reminded me of the demo derby last summer. Hope your doing well" (I first met her at that demo derby)

 

"Hey! I finally fixed my truck door to where it will open again. Who knew you had the strength to actually break the door handle! Hope your doing well." (On one of our dates she went to open the door and the handle came off. We laughed for 30 minutes straight. It was our favorite memory)

 

I'm not sure if bringing up the past good memories is a good idea or not. So here some that don't bring up past memories

 

"Hey, I heard you got promoted at work. Congrats!" (I'm not liking this one because it makes it sound like I'm stalking her)

 

"Hey! I just got back from hanging out with (best friends name) and (best friends gf (exs best friend)). It feels weird when your not there. Hope your doing well" (We hang together every weekend for drinks. Not to sure about this one)

 

"Hey, how are you?" or "Hey! Hows it going?" (not liking these too much)

 

Which text should I go with?

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Is this one of these "Text you ex back" schemes? NC for six months and then send a manipulative text message?

 

Because that's how they sound - manipulatve by referencing dates of first meets.

 

The fact that you're even trying to work out what to say speaks volumes.

 

I'd wait for her to contact you,if you're in such a close social circle you'll run into her eventually.

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