Jump to content

Problem


JecksPot

Recommended Posts

Long story short, I can't read by girlfriends cues when we are trying to have sex. My problem is when I rub down there, I either rub the bone or how should I say miss the spot. She's been really helpful, the relationships over a year but we really have a sex problem, probably because she was my first and she's experience. I am 26 and well, when it comes to sex, I suck with her and get discouraged easily, maybe that's my problem, what do you guys recommend I do or try? She's been very open in what she wants to the point where it makes her not comfortable, angry and frustrated.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 50
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Then why is she still with you? Has she ever had an orgasm with you? Maybe you need to have more experience before you settle down with ONE girl? She's either a poor teacher or you're a slow learner. There are sex therapists you could visit, there is couples porn you could watch together, there is you watching her masturbate so you can see how she reaches climax, there are anatomy books and google you could reference in order to understand where the clitoris actually is first and foremost. There is hopefully and eventually, you taking charge and her not having to teach.

 

Anyway, don't stick with her if you're sexually incompatible and unable to get it together. Your relationship will not be a happy one if you do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I guess she's still with me because we love each other. She has had orgasms with me at the beginning of the relationship but then idk what happened, I guess she critiqued me on doing it wrong a few times after and I took it hard. She's a good teacher, I am just a slow learner, very slow, I guess the fact that she's teaching me and still with me probably means something even though at times she says she feels disgusting and like a guinea pig.. It's been a 1 year and 4 months, I really want to try to fix this..

 

Edit: she doesn't know how to masterbate.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Long story short, I can't read by girlfriends cues when we are trying to have sex. My problem is when I rub down there, I either rub the bone or how should I say miss the spot. She's been really helpful, the relationships over a year but we really have a sex problem, probably because she was my first and she's experience. I am 26 and well, when it comes to sex, I suck with her and get discouraged easily, maybe that's my problem, what do you guys recommend I do or try? She's been very open in what she wants to the point where it makes her not comfortable, angry and frustrated.

 

Go down on her and control her with your mouth. Get her really excited and have sex after.

 

Teasing can lead to good sex. Enjoy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks, I've tried that, she gets to a certain point when I do that ie. from a scale of 1-10 of the pleasure meter it probably goes to a 5, it's the after part or me just missing out on cues on what to do next, I will try more teasing..I can see why she is frustrated as hell with me but I guess if I can learn or keep trying it will me worth it when I get it right, it's kind of tough on both of us her not having an orgasm for a long period of time and me not giving her one, messes with you mentally imo.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This may sound harsh but you need to stop being a sooky lala about your sexual inexperience and become a fast learner not a slow learner. My advice is research, porn, books, forums to get all the information on what you need to be doing.

 

Edit: she doesn't know how to masterbate.

 

Sorry I don't believe this. Only way I can see this is if she is ultra religious or something?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How does someone not know how to masturbate?

 

My problem is when I rub down there, I either rub the bone or how should I say miss the spot.

 

How did you miss the mark like this in 16 months time, though? I agree that you absolutely need to research, watch instructional videos. You have to find the clitoris if you ever want to have sex again. Go google image search it right now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

C'mon. I haven't had my coffee yet!~!!

 

 

How does someone not know how to masturbate?

 

 

 

How did you miss the mark like this in 16 months time, though? I agree that you absolutely need to research, watch instructional videos. You have to find the clitoris if you ever want to have sex again. Go google image search it right now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Relax! I think because she's critiqued you it's obviously knocked your confidence, which has led you to become nervous and more concerned that your doing whatever she thinks is right. Sex is meant to be fun not stressful, sex is awkward and humorous at the same time! I find it weird that she used to orgasm and now she's not tho, I think she may have been saying that to raise your confidence, which is good but misleading. Take it slow, invest in some books like the others have said, you should be enjoying it too, it's not all about her pleasure but both of you enjoying each other's bodies. I think it's great that she's open and trying to direct you to how she likes it but sounds like she's being a bit harsh in how she tells you. Previous partners had never brought me to orgasm before, I still enjoyed sex with them but it was until I was in my first long term relationship and it took him 7 months of sex for him to give me my first orgasm and that's when I realised what I was missing out on lol! I think the key is being comfortable and in tune with each other, which takes time

Link to comment
Share on other sites

, I either rub the bone or how should I say miss the spot..

 

Google map. It's amazing what it can these days.

 

Seriously though, how do you know that you suck at sex? I mean, at the end of the day she's happy and satisfied then you did your job. It's not like porn where the girl is writhing away like someone possessed.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just read some of your previous threads -

 

She said a few days ago I am "awkward" in bed. Everything else in the relationship is clicking, she basically said she loves me but doesn't want to **** me

 

One thing, she mentioned how her ex wasn't experience basically a virgin when they met and he knew what to do, how in the bed he was good but he treated her like **** when it came to the relationship. She loves me because I treated her nice but since we have bad sex and I feel like experience somewhat matters she doesn't want to even though I want to try more because practice makes perfect.

 

We talked about it and she said she is turned off when talking about it. I tried doing what I did to her when we first went out but its never been the same. Its come to the point where we rarely have sex at all. She told me I don't listen to her when it comes to that and if she tells me then it ruins it and will be turned off by it however how am I supposed to know what to do.

 

Ok, this has been going on for a long time. I wonder if, in PART, this is due to her having more platonic type feelings towards you rather than romantic, sexual attraction and feelings.

 

Yes, I am sure it is killing your confidence to be told this time and time again(these posts were from April and May!).

 

I say...Have some lights on sex. Full on interrogation lamp. Get a good look at things. And maybe a reference sheet or something..I'm not kidding!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Long story short, I can't read by girlfriends cues when we are trying to have sex. My problem is when I rub down there, I either rub the bone or how should I say miss the spot. She's been really helpful, the relationships over a year but we really have a sex problem, probably because she was my first and she's experience. I am 26 and well, when it comes to sex, I suck with her and get discouraged easily, maybe that's my problem, what do you guys recommend I do or try? She's been very open in what she wants to the point where it makes her not comfortable, angry and frustrated.

 

you need to go to a porn tube site and look up "instructional" videos. They do exist.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You have had a lot problems with this girl that you have told me about. It seemed to me then and it still seems to me that you're afraid to leave her. It is clearly not working out, yet you cling to her and apologize for things that are not your fault (if I remember correctly) and work hard to do everything she wants you to. It sounds to me like she knows that you will do anything you ask her to, so she's keeping you under her thumb. If you don't let her go, she will let you go. It may not be today, but it will happen. She enjoys you right now because you will do anything she asks or tells you to, that will wear off for both of you eventually.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It shouldn't take this long. If after 6months sex is still crap-then your just not compatible and need to break up.

 

For the first couple of months all I had to do was move his hand if he was touching the wrong spot. She is obviously a bad teacher and all she is doing is crushing your confidence..

 

You will learn a lot faster with a less experienced girl who doesn't get angry etc

 

It should be easy. It really isn't that difficult to figure out where her clit is or how to touch it. Have you ever tried looking down there at what your doing? You may learn faster if you can see where your touching

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It shouldn't take this long. If after 6months sex is still crap-then your just not compatible and need to break up.

 

For the first couple of months all I had to do was move his hand if he was touching the wrong spot. She is obviously a bad teacher and all she is doing is crushing your confidence..

 

You will learn a lot faster with a less experienced girl who doesn't get angry etc

 

It should be easy. It really isn't that difficult to figure out where her clit is or how to touch it. Have you ever tried looking down there at what your doing? You may learn faster if you can see where your touching

 

Exactly. It shouldn't be so difficult and her temper should not be so short. I'm very experienced but I would enjoy teaching someone who is not, not get angry all the time and kill his self confidence!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Exactly. It shouldn't be so difficult and her temper should not be so short. I'm very experienced but I would enjoy teaching someone who is not, not get angry all the time and kill his self confidence!

 

I think less experienced people should be with someone equal to them.. it makes them feel more comfortable/confident and easier to learn from each other

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks guys. I guess because of how the relationship has gone as in when we make out everything clicks there and the fact that she's doing all this as in helping me out, it doesn't help that she feels used or feels like nothing. I think I mentioned how she feels the hesitation or nervousness when I go down there and I think it's because I always looked at it as a hit or miss, I never feel truly comfortable, I think if I told her from the get go I was a virgin things would have probably been different but that is not the case. Things have gotten better from last time, I know have a full-time job that pays decent and still go to school. The problem before was that she just wasn't attracted to me or was into sex because I wasn't working at the time, she understood I was trying however it looked unappealing. I am very inexperience, if I take your advice as in learning more about the anatomy, maybe it will save it. Other than the sex, things have been going fine, she's giving me BJ's recently and well..basically I am very easy to please. I want to do the same and I know for some of you guys it might sound weird but I kind of don't want a BJ if I can't do the same to her. She senses the nervousness, I guess it's more of a psychological thing than a physical.

 

edit: I hope i dont sound delusional here lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry I don't believe this. Only way I can see this is if she is ultra religious or something?
I tend to agree and I'd tell any young man that is just starting out sexually to avoid any woman that has never masturbated. How can you possibly satisfy her if she doesn't know how to satisfy herself. As for you 'satisfying' her at the beginning of your relationship... well I think, unfortunately, that she was faking that and now that the initial lust has worn thin, she's not getting off and the new relationship energy isn't there to placate her, sans orgasm.

 

She's likely still with you because you're a habit to one another. Don't marry her, you'll be miserable if you do. You need to work things out with her if you're going to trying and make this relationship last the test of time and continue to be monogamous while you're at it.... but first she has to get herself off and learn how to do that so that she can show you what works for her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Your problem is your GF - she had great sex with her ex, but he treated her badly, now you treat her like a queen, but she isn't really into sex with you. She is also not very supportive as I see it to the fact that you try so hard. You need to educate yourself better, not only on subject of sex, but also on what healthy relationship is.

She isn't sexually attracted to you, and she stays with you basically because it is comfortable, no matter what you do - she wont have great sex with you. If she was in an abusive relationship before you, it is very-very possible that sexual attraction has something to do with abuse to her. And you are totally opposite to it.

Don`t try to fool yourself and call it a "perfect relationship" or love, if you stay with her - she will probably seek her orgasms on a side.

If you love someone - you are willing to learn how to satisfy them. She basically gives no sh*t about it, and tells you it turns her off if she is advising you what to do.

Dump her, do yourself a favor.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I never masturbated before loosing my virginity, and I still came and enjoyed the h*ll out of it! In fact, I didn't start masturbating until several months after loosing it, and didn't make myself cum until a year after I started having sex.

 

That's great for you, congrats. but it doesn't change my advice giving. I'd still tell any young man that getting with someone who has never masturbated is more likely then not going to lead to exactly what is happening in this thread.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Because anyone who has never masturbated, then they don't know their own body and would have a hard time to explain to a man that isn't pleasing them, how he can please them (there is another thread with that very problem going on in another thread. She blames him for being a bad lover yet she's never shown him how to be a good one).

 

Because a person that has never masturbated often has some pre-conditioned reasons of the psyche why she has not whether they be religious guilt induced reasons, abuse, or just a inherent lack of personal sexuality.

 

Now, before you get defensive... I've not said you are any of those things. I'm just saying that I've read enough to know that what I'm saying isn't far fetched.

 

Enjoying your sexual experience has a lot to do with how you respond, how you can direct and how you yourself feel about giving. I find that woman that know how to please themselves are more likely to also find that pleasing their partner is just as exciting as getting pleased by them.

 

I've read too many threads from young men that are with women that don't contribute to their lovemaking much and when I ask the question about masturbating, more times then not, they tell me their gf does not masturbate nor do they like them to self-pleasure and they are totally insecure about their partner viewing porn (at any capacity ~ even if the porn viewing is not interfering with the amount they are making love).

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I too would tell a man to stay away from a woman who has not masturbated. For one she is more likely to be sexually promiscuos as she has missed out on years of pleasure and can sometimes depend on men sexually.. Also if she doesn't know what she likes-she cannot teach him what to do which just leads to all sorts of issues in the bedroom.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...