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Interesitng in real life, boring on FB - upcoming trip with a virtual stranger!


Greggie

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Hi all!

 

I'm back posting, thus have been thrust back into the highly confusing realm of dating and attraction! My story goes:

 

On New Year's Eve, whilst vacationing in London, I met a guy that I really hit it off with. Let me just preface this with telling you all that I am very picky when it comes to finding a romantic partner (I'm sure most of us are), finding most guys that I meet rather dull and that very few of them "get" me, so when once in a blue moon I meet someone that I feel a connection, chemistry, and attraction with, I take it very seriously, seeing as I view it as such a rarity. Well, on New Year's Eve, he ticked all the boxes; he was funny, interesting, and seemed to me to be a person with a lot of substantial things to say, and I definitely felt that rare connection. He lives in Paris, and so that night, he asked me to come visit him, to which I replied a resounding yes.

 

The next day he returned to Paris, the day after I to Norway, yet we kept in touch via Facebook. A week later or so I suppose, he asked me when he would get to see me again, and confessed to me that he had been scared to ask me that, considering the fact that we had only met the once. He expressed a strong desire for me to come visit him, and me, being hopelessly romantic and impulsive by nature, booked my flight the next day. (To which he said, "Really?! I am the happiest guy in Paris right now at this exact moment!")

 

The problem is this.. the person I met on New Year's Eve I found to be very intriguing and interesting, yet I have yet to see him since! In the conversations we've been having via social media, I just find him so .. uninspiring. Not only that, but it seems to me he is not even *trying* to come accross as interesting? I don't want to go and visit someone who is basically a stranger to me, so I've really been trying to dig deep but to no avail! Yet he will contact me every time I go online, and then barely participate in the conversation (that he started!), coming accross as both very uninteresting .. and uninterested! To the point where it is actual starting to piss me off, as surely he must understand that I need and want to know more about who he is as a person before visiting! As well as leaving me highly confused. How could you on the one hand be interested enough in a girl that you basically beg her to come visit you, yet have no interest in participating in a real conversation in the weeks prior? It is now T minus 12 days til D-Day, and my previous excitement is turning into lack thereof. Sure, the idea of eating croissants and drinking coffee in quaint Parisian cafes sounds parfait, but if this person is as uninspiring in real life as he is in those FB conversations, I just may go jump off the Eiffel Tower

 

Anyways, my question is, does anyone have any kind of insight into this behavior? Like, being interested in someone enough to invite them to come visit you, yet not even trying to have a conversation of substance with them beforehand? Thank you all for replies!

 

PS: Apologies for typo in Subject Line! I am a self-admitted spelling/grammar nazi so that just about killed me!

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I guess you just didn't know him well enough to be already booking tickets , you acted on impulse not even knowing this man really ...you met him on new years eve ..the eve that most are out partying and in a good mood ...and he left the next day ..I hate to say it but that was probably the worst night to judge a person by , especially basing your flight tickets on that alone .

 

You have now gotten to know how he interacts and it is not what you want , so the best you can do is cancel the trip as soon as possible and both go your separate ways .

 

or

 

just go and enjoy Paris with no expectations and you will know soon enough if it is just him in cyber space and he is different in real life .

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>>and me, being hopelessly romantic and impulsive by nature,

 

Greggie this is your problem... you meet a guy and on a VERY short first impression (a few hours or a day or so) you go galloping off thinking he's your Prince Charming, when all the excitement is just a frisson on attraction hormones and a first impression. Maybe he ia one of those guys who is outgoing when he's drunk, when when he sobers up he inhibited and a crashing bore. Or maybe you were drunk at the time and were attracted to him and didn't bother to notice that he wasn't all that interesting.

 

And really, what the odds of a relationship between someone living in Norway and someone living in Paris have of really being together enough to get to know each other enough to make it work. And do you seriously see yourself moving to Paris or him to Norway which would have to happen to really have this go anywhere.

 

So i think you had a fun and exciting little vacation over New Years. But it was nothing more than than, a little drunken fun and then back to reality, and the reality is you find him boring once you get to know him. So it is probably time to just let this go and not to go Paris unless you are willing to dump him and enjoy a holiday in Paris by yourself if it turns out to be too boring after you arrive.

 

Shop for men closer to home, and learn to be a little less romantic and impulsive if you want to make good choices when it comes to partners. Anyone can look good on first impression, and you need to spend a little time getting to know someone before you jump in with both feet. And you could also be excluding a lot of nice guys if you make snap judgments based on first impressions and don't go any further rather than taking a little time to really investigate them as people.

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