Jump to content

what too do?!?-


Natalie1987xx

Recommended Posts

I already know the answer too this...

But still would like ppls opinions split with ex after I caught him cheating had NC and I finally started too recover and talking too another man neway my ex found out n now hes phoning me saying he loves me hes sorry all that. First time hes sed this since splitting up... N now im bk too square 1 thinking of him again but now theres some1 else involved im so confused

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He cheated on you. What about that doesn't sink into you to tell you to block and delete him and get on with your life without him in it?

 

If you decide to not block and delete him and instead you're talking to him and letting him hoover you back in, then do yourself a huge favor. DO NOT go back with him unless he agrees to get personal councelling and then with you, couples councelling. There is a reason why he would cheat on you instead of just breaking up with you and then finding someone new and any reason that may be means he's not going to be very good EXCLUSIVE relationship material without getting the help on his own weak self-worth he needs in order to be a good man to ONE woman. If you go back to him without him doing those things then think about getting personal therapy for yourself to help you with your own self-worth.

 

Good luck and be well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Keep in mind your ex didn't say a word until he found out that you were moving on with another man. THEN he suddenly apologizes and is trying to sucker you back into something, although I'm betting if you asked him if he wanted you back and the full relationship he'd have some phony excuse as to why not now, but in the future...blah-blah-blah, lie-lie-lie. He would however happily sleep with you, rip your heart to shreds, chase off the new guy then leave satisfied that oh yeah he still has you should he ever choose to want you.

 

Put this one down to the guy is so bananas that he just doesn't want you to with someone else or he loses his ego boost/backburner girl. Tell him not to cheat in his next relationship and maybe he can hold on to something true, then tell him he blew it with you for good then block and delete him. Unless of course you have a masochistic streak. Then go right ahead and fall for it all knowing he didn't want you until someone else did and now he's the little bully on the playground throwing a fit, because some other kid has what he considered his to put up on a shelf in case he should ever want it again.

 

Don't you think you deserve to be first and not someone's shelf girl though? I do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Crocodile tears. He cheated on you - enough said. You did right by kicking him to the curb and don't question that. It was the right decision. You were moving on and you need to keep on moving on. Block him and don't listen to his bs. Cheating takes thought and planning - it's not an accident. Don't forget that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Exactly the same as whatts been posted its not the first time either.

I wont never get back with him I was just a bit annoyed with my self . Gave it a thought n reading all of these am great I love this sight it keeps me strong.

 

Also we have a 6 year old together but with contact its always been his mom till now. Which was perfect

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I already know the answer too this...

But still would like ppls opinions split with ex after I caught him cheating had NC and I finally started too recover and talking too another man neway my ex found out n now hes phoning me saying he loves me hes sorry all that. First time hes sed this since splitting up... N now im bk too square 1 thinking of him again but now theres some1 else involved im so confused

 

I always say people are confused when they're with someone, but are giving someone else a chance at their emotions.

 

The best way to get rid of the confusion is to stop seeing both of them til you figure out who you want to be with.

 

What is the time frame for all of this going on? How long did you and your ex see one another? When did the cheating and discovery happen? How long was the NC? How long ago did you meet the new man?

 

How far are things with the new man? Are you sleeping with him or talking to him? If your ex wasn't pestering you, would you be confused?

 

If your ex hadn't cheated on you, would you be talking to the new guy?'

 

The only reason why you're being pestered by the ex is because you didn't truly go NC with him. You went limited contact--and the limited was on your part, not his. You didn't block him from contacting you. Now, your new guy has been put into rebound category because you're thinking of giving a cheater a second chance to cheat on you once again. And he will. Of course he's sorry--he's losing something he thinks is his to use and throw down when something even newer comes into view. Are you going to let him use you again? You wont' be able to be totally pissed if he does because you knew what he was about and you took him back. Meanwhile, a guy who hasn't insulted your esteem will be cast off and not given a chance.

 

I think that until you can figure out which man you want, you shouldn't deal with either of them. That would be the most fair to the new man, since you're giving your ex entree back into your heart.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We was together 10 years weve been split about 4 months now and I have limited contact only because we have a child together when weve spoke too each other in the past its only been about our daughter up until yday when he started asking questions about the New man on the scene. I was fine and moving on with him we havent slept together ive met him and its great or was until my ex started telling me how much he misses me. I havent spoke too him since as I know I dont want too be with him.

But it just bought a rush ofbfeelings back when we spoke and I had too focus on why I left in the first place.

This new man knows everything hes very inderstanding and is willing too back off while I control my mixed feelings.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

We was together 10 years weve been split about 4 months now and I have limited contact only because we have a child together when weve spoke too each other in the past its only been about our daughter up until yday when he started asking questions about the New man on the scene. I was fine and moving on with him we havent slept together ive met him and its great or was until my ex started telling me how much he misses me. I havent spoke too him since as I know I dont want too be with him.

But it just bought a rush ofbfeelings back when we spoke and I had too focus on why I left in the first place.

This new man knows everything hes very inderstanding and is willing too back off while I control my mixed feelings.

 

 

Hmm, your situation can get quite tricky if you let it... this is speaking from experience when your ex happens to be your child's parent.. And then tack on a 10 year relationship, and you're racking your brain with thoughts of forgiveness, understanding, second (or third, fourth and fifth) chances, and ...family (specifically for your child's sake). To be fair to your position, you sort of have to weigh both the negatives and positives you've experienced in your relationship (all rhetorical):

 

10 years is a long time.

Cheating (for many) is one time and you're gone.

"Love" can offer a second chance.

Was it a mistake? -- but wait, he got caught. Would he have kept it up if you didn't catch him?

What about your child together?

You at least speak, so when you've communicate in the past, did he seem non-chalant about rekindling anything?

How was your relationship with him of 10 years? Rocky toward the end? Happy at the surface, only to be shattered from below?

 

Ultimately you need to decide what you want altogether. Can you trust him again? Will you regret walking away? Will you always be afraid or insecure of him doing it again? etc. etc.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...