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Help Me Read This Girl Please


AGJase

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I like this girl, so I asked her out to eat. She said she's not ready to date or be in a relationship but that we could still hang out.

 

I've gone out twice with this girl now. A while after the first time out to eat I talked to her to make sure she was comfortable hanging out with me even though she knows I like her. She still said she couldn't offer anything more than friendship right now and I said I have no expectations.

 

Second time we went out we spent most of the day together just going around different places. I did more subtle touches, hand on the back or shoulder when talking or walking through places. She seemed comfortable with it, even sharing a shake with me as we walked around. I felt like holding her hand, but didn't want to make it awkward or ruin any future chances by trying to move too fast. She's very hard to read when I'm with her. She sometimes makes it seem like there's a future guy for her that isn't me, then other times she hints like she doesn't want guys coming on to her by showing me these cheap engagement rings.

 

Obviously I really like her, but she's impossible to read. I don't feel a spark because I feel like she's shut herself off from trying to connect emotionally, but I really like her personality.

 

What should I do? Do you think she's interested? Why would she keep going out with me? Should I just keep taking it slow and see what comes of it?

 

At some point I'm afraid of having to bring it up and possibly scaring her away.

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I think since she told you she can't offer you more than friendship, you should probably back off. Actually, I'm 90% positive if you met another lady friend, she might get really jealous and fight for you back, haha. Not that I'm advocating playing games, but these things sometimes work that way.

 

I like this girl, so I asked her out to eat.

 

gosh, i'm tired. I read that as you asked to eat her out.

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I think since she told you she can't offer you more than friendship, you should probably back off. Actually, I'm 90% positive if you met another lady friend, she might get really jealous and fight for you back, haha. Not that I'm advocating playing games, but these things sometimes work that way.

 

 

 

gosh, i'm tired. I read that as you asked to eat her out.

 

Thanks! Lol that comment was too hilarious!

A friend of hers, not too close but enough that she'll find out, is actually really into me and wants to hang out. Been avoiding that so it doesn't mess this up, should I just go for it?

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let's see what the other posters here think!!

 

i'm inclined to say since this one told you she can only offer friendship at this time, that you should take the other one on a date. Do you like the other one? is she someone you would like to date?

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Personally I'd stop hanging out with her if I wanted something more than friendship.

 

She's already taken it off the table, so there's no use pursuing her and hoping it will happen.

 

Because there's a 95% chance it won't.

 

Find a girl who won't tell you on the 2nd date that she can't offer more than friendship. Your chances will be much better.

 

In other words, go for the other chick!

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let's see what the other posters here think!!

 

i'm inclined to say since this one told you she can only offer friendship at this time, that you should take the other one on a date. Do you like the other one? is she someone you would like to date?

 

I do but not as much as this one. I would like to hang with her to see how it is.

I feel like patience with this one might or might not pay off, and I don't want to get friend-zoned. She told me the friendship thing before we went out the second time. And why would she go out with me again if she knew I liked her?

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OMG really?!

 

Not to be mean but she's told you twice she's not interested. So what do you do? Lie and say you have no expectations while you try to make "subtle" moves. No she is not interested. Take the hint.

 

So why does she keep going out with me? And share a drink with me when she knows I like her?

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So enjoying my company and attention can't turn into anything once she's ready?

 

She's not interested in you. If she gets interested in someone else, she'll be with that guy. She's ready ... for the right guy ... which is not you ... she's just not interested in you.

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OMG really?!

 

Not to be mean but she's told you twice she's not interested. So what do you do? Lie and say you have no expectations while you try to make "subtle" moves. No she is not interested. Take the hint.

 

You are usually right on everything you write, although sometimes women can just be playing hard to get or are nervous. I think though that he put his best foot forward anyways and at least making an effort and failing is better than not having tried at all.

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She has told you straight up what the deal is, have u thought about where that stems from? She may be dealing with trust issues, insecurity and want time to heal. I'm not saying stop hanging out with her, she clearly sees you as a friend, so maybe you should try to be her friend instead of making subtle moves which your reading more into. What's wrong with being friendzoned? Sometimes that's better, making a solid foundation of friendship then maybe she will see you in another light. But when she's ready.

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Of course it could. And I could also become President of the United States. The chances are about the same.

 

She is not interested in you.

 

She is spending time with you because 1) you are paying for dinner, and 2) she is bored.

 

So I found out today that she is interested and does like me. She's just been trying to play it cool because of past relationships and pressure from her family. Thanks for all the positive support here.

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She still said she couldn't offer anything more than friendship right now and I said I have no expectations.

 

This is the line that started it all.

 

OMG really?!

 

Not to be mean but she's told you twice she's not interested. So what do you do? Lie and say you have no expectations while you try to make "subtle" moves. No she is not interested. Take the hint.

 

She put you in the friendzone, not the mortalenemyzone. She enjoys your company and attention, but will never ever have sex with you. Clearer?

 

She's not interested in you. If she gets interested in someone else, she'll be with that guy. She's ready ... for the right guy ... which is not you ... she's just not interested in you.

 

She is not interested in you.

 

She is spending time with you because 1) you are paying for dinner, and 2) she is bored.

 

And i agree, some of these statements were a little over the top. Some people here think they are experts at giving advice and will often do it with a very cocky attitude because this is all they do all day long. Personally, i just like to read and every now and then i will try to offer some advice. Don't take it too personally, many of the people here have serious problems, they are by no means professionals, they are just average people sitting on computers writing stuff which may or may not be correct.

 

Well, one thing is to be said about this thread, don't let someone else's advice sway you from your goals, hopes and dreams.

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Some people here think they are experts at giving advice and will often do it with a very cocky attitude because this is all they do all day long. Personally, i just like to read and every now and then i will try to offer some advice. Don't take it too personally, many of the people here have serious problems, they are by no means professionals, they are just average people sitting on computers writing stuff which may or may not be correct.

 

What you say is correct. None of us are relationship experts.

 

But most of us DO have experience with scenarios like the OP described, and the majority of the time it has meant the girl truly isn't interested and the "pursuer" is simply trying to find reasons to ignore what she's told him.

 

If this case is the exception, more power to you AGJase! Of course we all want things to work out in your favor.

 

But we all want you to temper your expectations, and not get overly invested. Because FROM WHAT YOU TOLD US, there didn't seem to be much to get excited about.

 

And even after your latest update, I'm still a bit skeptical.

 

OP - how did you find out she likes you? From her directly or from a 3rd party?

 

And if she's damaged from past relationships, that's a red flag.

 

And she's got family pressure too? Another red flag.

 

All any of were saying is tread cautiously and don't count your chickens... and I still stand by that advice.

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