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It's was a 3 year relationship that ended a little bit over 2 weeks now around Christmas. I can literally type a novel of my relationship so I'll try to give you the shortest version possible.


I'm 22 and she's 22. We met in our sophomore year of college and dated for the rest of our tenures there. During our senior year of college I got what I thought be part of our family in the future: our (now her) dog for our 2 year anniversary. After we both graduated from school (we went to an out of state college, but were from the same home states about an hour away from each other) we both headed home. Shortly in to the summer she received an offer for an internship in her field in California. At first I was hesitant to be supportive, but how could I not be? I wanted what was best for her and sent her to California to pursue the start of her career. A few weeks later I decided to leave my temporary job and join her on her journey to California.


The summer went by fast and before you knew it I had an internship in Florida in the field I wanted to get in to. I ended up accepting it fully knowing it would a huge challenge to keep the relationship alive. But I was ready for the challenge of long distance. Around the time when I first started my internship she dropped a bomb on me.


She needed space and time to find herself.


The next 3 weeks was literally living hell for me as I tried to accept that we were basically over. A nice letter and flowers along with the time to think got her to come back to me...something I truly never thought would happen. She came to Florida to visit soon after and we had maybe the best time of our relationship. I believe we were both truly happy to be back with each other. Then she left.


I visited her in California for Thanksgiving and something felt off. It didn't feel like it did in Florida.


Even before Thanksgiving and one of the reasons for our break earlier in the year was partly my fault because I was pressuring her to make a plan to finally reunite. I didn't want any definite dates or anything like that but just a sign of commitment that we would both end up at the same place. When we got back together after the break I let all of those thoughts go.......until Thanksgiving lol. We got in a heated argument (which never ever helps when you barely see each other) about it and she plead to me to put my trust in her that she would leave California this year (2014) after the winter season (she had also received a promotion to full time at her job). I in turn had already made the decision to leave Florida following my internship to return back to our home state when I had an opportunity to pursue a full time job myself. The last few weeks of my internship in December were hell with how busy it was somewhere along those few weeks we lost a lot of communication. I didn't even notice really until I was coming back home and it made me really sad.


I brought these feelings up to her on Christmas day and safe to say it did not end well. I started noticing a red flag when she said she was discouraged about finding the light of the end of tunnel and the following night she broke up with me. Citing, among other reasons, that 1. it was hard for her to plan to leave California when she was just settling in and 2. she loved me but wasn't sure if she was in love with me anymore.


This was devastating.


I tried to end it civil enough by sending one final FB message telling her how she was the love of my life and that now I guess I just needed to move on. But I lied. I don't want to move on. I miss my best friend. It's almost pathetic in a way. I don't know how sincere both of us were but we both agreed to try to be friends in the future. But once again...I lied. I still love her with all my heart and soul and want to get in my car right now and drive to California. Everything just seems so bland and grey without what I thought would be my fiancé in the future.


She did have her vices such as being indecisive and not doing well under pressure. I had my vices such as being anxious and even depressed for a portion of our relationship. I can tell that she had been worn out by the end and she really just stopped trying. Once again this is devastating. Now I face the decision to just give up or to try to make her fall in love with me again some how some way. But even typing that out sounds stupid. I know you can't make someone love you...I just feel this terrible pain as if this just not right. This is just not how our story was supposed to end. Over a skype break-up. I asked her if it was someone else and she said no. So if it is well then ignorance is bliss I suppose even though I still feel unsettled about that possibility.


Thanks for reading this I don't know what to do. I know to truly move on myself I need to give up hope of us being together....the problem is I don't want to give up hope. I know in my heart of hearts that she is the one for me...and I just wish she felt the same...but wishes are for children I suppose. My heart is just hurting so much right now. I feel as if she made a hasty decision, but who knows maybe she had been planning it for quite some time. Too many unanswered questions.

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Sadly, we never know... but, we try. And that's all we can do.

Break ups are NEVER easy. It takes a lot out of you, emotionally. You will feel many things for a while as you try to grasp onto the reality of it all.


Im sorry for your loss. And losing sumone this way is much the same of a real 'death' . It's death of a relationship- and loss of a partner.

You will go thru emotions galore for next few months. The heartache, denial, sadness, lonliness.. what if's, etc.

Until you can come to terms and 'accept it'.


In this time it is best you do as little to no contact as possible with her any further.

No one knows if or when they may consider trying again.. but like you said with that 'bit of hope', yes we sit with that possibility for a long time.


With this occurrence though, I suggest as you work on this, you should also be working on you and any issues that rose up during the relationship- and look into what or why it caused the problem(s).

Time to work on you...think... figure yourself out.. work on accepting this.. one day at a time. Yes, it is hard to cope.


If you feel the need, sometimes it gets too hard to deal with alone. Some need some therapy and some needs something to deal with depression and/or anxiety.


But do take care, of you...


Stick around... you're not alone.

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