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I am still impulsive. Diagnosed 4 years ago with manic- deppresive disorder. Found pills useless and put them away. I said everything I could to whom I love, then regreted it and begged him to forgive me and give me another chance. In my personal life I've got better. I mean motivated to achieve my goals but when it comes to emotional stuff I am really vulnerable. I am obsessive. I wish I coud be more stable more ordinary. Not that extreme. I dont know if it is because the childhood I had or things I experienced in my life. I wish I could have a peacful mind and the life I want. I try every day. read books, sport etc. but I still feel obsessive. I feel diffetent and people say that I am different. I want to try thrapy again. feel really sad now. Didnt want to ruin things with him. wanna have a peaceful mind. I want to sleep in sunlight forever.

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